Jesus, why did I ever agree with my brain when we had a nice cosy chat about the possibility of a 2 week vacation right away from any form of modern technology on a hot, sweaty island, with only mosquitos and sunburn for company?
However you look at it, holidays can be very weird things...it takes a forced break from a set routine to make you take a step back and realise just how sick and twisted certain parts of your life have become....for instance:
"It's been 7 hrs and 16 days, since you took your love away (aaaa-aaahhh-aaaaaaaa), etc"... I dunno why, but the words from the classic Sinead O'Connor song are feeling pretty damn apt right now regarding my withdrawals from my beloved internet, who is, as I am beginning to slowly and painfully realise, my eternal mistress and main
addiction in my life.
....and ,trying to stay on topic, but veering off ever so slightly (due to the fact I'm on holiday and the 'lack of connection' shakes are kicking in) .....just as a little sidenote.......'Nothing Compares To You' is one of those music videos that captures a precise moment in history for me, when my brain realised it should probably press the record button and store what I was experiencing at the time for future nostalgic recount.
Because in some small way it was like nothing that had ever come before it (ok, so Bono and U2 sort of did it first a few months before, but they were dudes and anyway, this was totally f#cking different. This was a music video containing one very cute chick (at that time...its amazing how u go off someone big time later on down the line)
with an amazing haircut, or lack of (Skinhead O'Connor?), who was clearly upset and needed a hug while she was doing this full frame head shot video-thingy, in one take, about her boyfriend pissing off somewhere and leaving her all alone and a bit moody, and just when you thought it couldn't get any hotter she starts crying as she is singing and it suddenly felt as if it were just you and her on the planet and she was saying these things just to you.....kind of.....I guess you had to be there, or be me....whatever!
....or maybe at the time it reinvoked a very recent memory in my head that had taken place a couple of weeks before Sinead was doing her thing on MTV, when I had to deal with the girlfriend of my best buddy, who had just been dumped by said friend at a party, and was doing something very similar to me, in my face.
...and I felt an overwhelming urge to hold her and tell her it was gonna be ok, walk her home, see her to her front door and promise her that would talk to my best buddy, tell him what a dick he was being for hurting someone so god dammed beautiful and in some way, make it alright again and put the world back on its axis.
...at least that's how it was meant to go....how I ended up undressed in her bed ten minutes later and how I thought that was gonna fix everything is still a bit of a mystery to me to this day, but I guess at the time it must have made some mad kind of sense.....Either way, whenever I hear Sinead wail out that song it presses play on my brain recorder and that event plays out and I can remember exactly what I was doing and where I was when those tears started flowing down her cheeks (and also how life never works out quite as u expected it would).
In exactly the same way (kind of), I can remember just where I was, what I was doing, and even what I had for tea when the whole world watched as Neil Armstrong climbed out of the lunar module and descended the luna ladder (?), before planting his footstep and saying those unforgetable words from my tv, while I sat transfixed as I witnessed history taking place as Neil became the first astronaut to be filmed live on tv walking around in a cold Nevada desert at night......it's true....it has to be....my grandad told me the moon's made of cheese and of coure, if it just doesn't happen to be so, then the rest of us know its inhabited by space Nazis......obviously!
.....so, (sorry about the slight tangent), maybe that's what being addicted to the internet does to you, it makes you question pretty much anything that seems important to you, or anyone else, and offers an 'alternative' point of view (scientology anyone?), to the point that it leaves you not knowing what the f#ck the truth is anymore.
...still, i just know, just like the rest of you, that if I wanted to prove to myself that 1 + 1 = 3, or that Dubya was actually a pretty decent guy (or Hitler for that matter), that 99.9% of what came back from good old Google would probably support my case.
The internet's like that, if you want to view life from a perspective, slightly left of surreal, then someone has already been there, done that, bought the tee shirt, written the postcard and posted a webpage/blog/rant/comment/thingamajiggy about it already.
...so it kinda saves you the effort of feeling like a total jerk whenever you question dogma, and the world (read as, 'your friends') laugh in your face and hint that you are either totaly dumb, or borderline insane, and you can smile back at them, safe and secure in the knowledge that somewhere out there is at least another person(s) on exactly the same wavelength as you....kinda makes me feel all warm inside knowing that!
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, 'it's been 16 1/2 hours and 7 days since you took yor love away (ARRRRRRGHHHHHH ARRRRRGHHH-AAAAHHHAAA) - OMFG....I'm never gonna make it to 14 days without at least a tatse of some 56k (god, I'd even settle for 28k).
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