"Internet Pirate" timeline
1883 - Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson:
It received much critical acclaim. British Prime Minister Gladstone says "The effect of Treasure Island on our perception of pirates cannot be overestimated. Stevenson linked pirates forever with maps, black schooners, tropical islands, and one-legged seamen with parrots on their shoulders. The treasure map with an X marking the location of the buried treasure is one of the most familiar pirate props"
In reality, most piracy of that era was conducted by Islamic captains based in North Africa who were in the employ of Ottoman Sultanates such as Barbarossa, who contrary to the false propaganda of the Internet Pirates, was not a free living, high seas sailing rebel but a politician who is chiefly remembered for uniting Algeria and Tunisia. Which i guess is kinda awesome if you're really, really into 18th century north African history.
Which is fine. Nothing wrong with a work of fiction, but just like the Bible , it all goes wrong when people start taking it seriously.
1911 - Peter and Wendy (Peter Pan) by J. M. Barrie
Realising that Stevenson had been onto a good thing with Treasure Island, Barrie simply invented piratey sounding words for Captain Hook. - "Yo ho, yo ho / Davy Jones / Avast " all appeared first in this novel.
1950 - Disney release Treasure Island starring this guy.
Robert Newton created everything that you and I would recognise as piratey today. "Yarrr"? That was him. "Arrrrrr" thats him too. He really ran the gamut.
1983 - Internet is born:
Thus giving idiots the ability to behave like complete tits without the fear of getting punched in the face. A sad day for us all.
1983-Present day:
People who think they look like this, but actually look like this while attempting to emulate a guy who really looked like this despite there being real pirates who in fact look like this.
The reasons why a mistake based on a lie that's taken from a movie based on a 100 year old work of fiction has become so popular in this day and age is quite simple. This kind of pirate can be fat, can stink of stale body odour and dried semen, can get away with only using a toothbrush to scratch the bedsores he has on his ass after spending 12 hours at his PC fapping to Japanese tentacle pr0n.
It's a ready made culture for people too repelant to even cut it as Trekkies. The detritus of humanity winds up on the good ship "Pirate" almost managing to convince themselves that their size 30 wife is a buxom wench, that they really wanted to wear tent sized baggy trousers and shirts even from before they found out that Star Fleet uniforms only go up to size XXXXXXXL.
Basically the way of the pirate is not a path you should choose to follow....Unlike the way of the ninja :)
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Added: 775 days ago by marlena21
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