I was walking in to work today, my scarf flapping in the breeze, Jack Frost biting at my nose while I contemplated the solution to the question of life, the universe and everything, when I started thinking about that no-talent ass clown Isaac Newton. Now I don't know a lot about the guy, other than that he has a douche bag's first name and he's credited with inventing gravity. Something about an apple falling on his head (school science class comes flooding back like a tepid bath of vague recollection).
Inventing is surely the wrong word. He sure as f#ck didn't invent gravity. If he invented it then the apple wouldn't have fallen, it would have casually floated past, or maybe fallen into a slow orbit around his big stupid head. Did he discover gravity? Frankly I don't buy that either. I think even before his fruit inspired proclamation people knew that when they dropped sh#t it fell. Gravity is something of a way of life for all creatures that have ever inhabited the Earth. Even the f#cking dinosaurs knew about that sh#t. Isaac just gave it a name. If I buy a dog and call it Collin have I discovered Collin? Should my name go down in the history books for my fantastical discovery? Of course not. Both the disinterested gum-chewing girl behind the counter at the pet shop and Collin were both aware of his existence before I even thought of buying him.
I'll admit that I'm treading on unknown ground here, given that other than the gravity thing and his brief cameo in The Da Vinci Code I know absolutely nothing about Newton but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that he's a cock.
Why is it that Isaac is the only one that's allowed to have discovered something that everyone already knew about? Where's the mention of the guy who discovered skin? The intellectual who first noticed air or the genius who realised that there was such a thing as water? No, it's only Isaac.
Wait.
Christopher Columbus. He's another one. Columbus, now there's a world class sh#teater if ever I saw one. Again, I know nothing of the man but how in the hell can you be credited with the discovery of a continent that people are already living on? He didn't discover anything he just went on a mystery holiday. Got in a boat, crossed a sea and did a bit of trespassing.
What a f#ckwit.
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Very interesting, check out [link deleted] if you really want to make a difference to the world economy
Added: 1153 days ago by buonaguidi
The gum-chewing girl behind the counter who sold you Colin was uninterested, not disinterested - a judge or referee is disinterested. If you are going to be rude about someone please be accurate in your use of langua
Added: 1159 days ago by Rabbit1644
Yeah, maybe read a little more before posting your dumb ass shit for people not as dumb to rip apart.
Added: 1157 days ago by xoutofbeerx
Sir Issac Newton was one of the greatest minds of all time, and not just because of that apple. Also, he never claimed to have invented gravity, merely claiming to have observed it. He also made a plethora of c
Added: 1159 days ago by Immortal_One
lol
Added: 1158 days ago by hackenbeck
The same way of thinking could be applied to most any great discovery in science, the atom, subatomic particles, electricity. All of it existed beforehand, the discovery is to put them to light through mathematical mod
Added: 1158 days ago by hackenbeck
And airplane food, WHATS UP WITH THAT?
Added: 1158 days ago by Ninjabryan
Your theory means taht the guy who "discovered" the sun should be f*cked as well? He didn't discover the Sun, and ofcorse everyone knew it was there, he just aknoledged its exisitance..... Isaak Newton expla
Added: 1159 days ago by themeanmachine
Newton didn't invent gravy, so where's the beef?
Added: 1158 days ago by Strickly K
That's science for you.. Coming up with names for stuff that's already there. Useful in a couple of ways, though :P
Added: 1158 days ago by jampe
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