Added: 135 days ago by Kevin Holmes | Posted in: Celebs | 29 Comments

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<div align='center'><a href='http://www.kontraband.com/blog/18260/Whos-Dead/'>Who's Dead?</a><br><div align='center'></div><br><a href='http://www.kontraband.com/blog'>See more like this on kontraband.com</a></div>

He dead. The svengali of pop, the Prince of Darkness, the spectre of a young boy who once sang ABC has moonwalked off this earth. Children around the world are crying...with relief. Will his zombie corpse rise up and give us one last Thriller-dance? It's doubtful, but he was the world's most influential pedo. And let's not forget his ranch, which was like the playground of a mad king, an indulgent Xanadu, he became a Kubla Khan of pop, but when he fell from grace his kindergarten kingdom fell too, a derelict fairground, that most depressing and disturbing of images - weeds growing through the cracks, rides going rusty, a potent and becoming symbol for what happened to this man. So for the next few weeks and definitely few days prepare to receive endless jokes, Facebook updates, lamenting, blogs like this, obituaries, hate, love, mocking, praising, fans grieving, radio stations playing his music, retrospectives, talking heads getting culturally introspective about his influence on everything from the social revolutions of the 20th century to the death of Elvis and 9/11. John Landis may even reshoot Thriller with MJ's corpse.

It's the end of the road for a man who has been a giant freak in the world of music. We all know pop music is a sanctuary for the mad, the crazed, the deranged, but this man was a rare breed of crazy. A pale-faced, high-voiced walking confusion of a man. No one will get to see those tour dates this dead beat (it) was going to play in London. But what a shockingly mad journey it's been for the plasticized one. We all know about his weird 'misadventures' that have gone on over the years, the scandals, the marriages, the obsessions, the plastic fantastic mighty morphing journey, the babies dangling from balconies, the sleepovers, the wine, the chimp, the general creepiness...A remarkable achievement for one man. Like the crazed imaginings of a deluded madman writ large, only far more surreal than anything the human imagination - even that of a feverish schizophrenic - could come up with. Praise be to his unhinged, untouched, unbalanced dementedness.

So he can boogie off and join Elvis, Kurt, and the 'Princess of the People' Lady fu#king Di, she who caused an entire nation to weep salt-water crocodile tears for a woman no one knew personally yet somehow grieved uncontrollably over, like a blubbering child who's had its toy taken from it. Dirty Diana indeed.

He did give the internet plenty of fun though, the international mega-hit sensation wonder-thrill Filipino prisoners jumping about in jumpsuits, wedding dances, unfathomable Bollywood Thriller, he even made his way into Super Mario Bros. Here's Kontraband's top ten infamous internets inspirations that we posted a few months back. So hold a white-gloved fist in the air if you care, if not go and slap a hysterical fan round the face. Because there's going to be plenty of them.

And while the world goes MJ mad poor old Farrah Fawcett gets her death-glory poached by a ghoul of a man. This whole MJ thing will tire pretty quickly, just in the time it's taken me to write this I'm already bored of it all, so let's hear those MJ jokes and the endless discussion of what a great child molester he was.

Added: 135 days ago by Kevin Holmes | Posted in: Celebs | 29 Comments

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