Added: 148 days ago by By Jingo | Posted in: Celebs | 11 Comments

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<div align='center'><a href='http://www.kontraband.com/blog/19905/Hot-Chicks-Who-Totally-Arent-Worth-It/'>Hot Chicks Who Totally Aren't Worth It</a><br><div align='center'></div><br><a href='http://www.kontraband.com/blog'>See more like this on kontraband.com</a></div>

Sophie Anderton
She might have the kind of face that men killed for in 50s thrillers but she's spent the past 15 years accumulating a laundry list of incidents that make her utterly undateable to anyone other than the most dedicated masochist. Unwise appearances on the tawdrier end of reality TV revealed her as jaw-droppingly self-involved and prone to bursting into tears for virtually any reason - including bursting into tears because she kept bursting into tears. Off the cameras she's been addicted to cocaine and involved in prostitution where she bizarrely admitted that she'd "probably" been paid for sex, claiming that the first time she'd been "tricked". And, like any true crazy chick, she's been arrested outside an ex-boyfriend's house shouting "I'll kill myself if you won't take me back."


Lily Allen
Lily Allen has somehow managed to cultivate an image as a cool bo-ho chick who got her big break through a mixture of hard graft and talent. She's claimed to have been brought up in council houses and generally been from "da street". The b#tch went to the same school as Prince Charles! Her daddy helped get her signed to Warner and her mommy got her a small acting part in a film she was co-producing. She used to get taken to school by Harry Enfield. So what we have here is someone who has all the solipsism and self entitlement of a spoiled little rich girl combined with a contemptible faux street arrogance and self righteousness. As evidenced in her petulant blog she is an incessantly whiny head, on a record company-tuned body. F#ck right off Lily. You're not even that hot.


Lindsay Lohan
Ah, Lindsay and her bewbs. A normal teen star would have been happy with just the eating disorder but not you. Locked in a titanic attention-whore war with Britney, you've gone lesbian, flashed your ginger minge at every opportunity, crashed cars, drunkenly crashed cars, crashed cars on drugs, snorted Peruvian marching dust, yo-yo rehabbed, and screwed her way through a fair section of the celebrity C list (and quite a few even less glamorous letters). She never managed the out and out crazy of Mrs Spears and there is the sneaking suspicion that she would almost be worth the monumental hassle for what would almost certainly be amazing sex. Calum Best reportedly said, "She's dynamite between the sheets.No girl I've ever slept with comes close" which is encouraging but a few years of hard living have left her looking like a 40 year old, alcoholic hooker. Really this ship has sailed. It needs to sink.


Megan Fox
How can someone who is so easy on the eye be so hard to watch? It's like God said, "I'll make you hot as f#ck but you'll only be able to master two expressions, b#tch stare and hooker pout" which kinda limits her acting range somewhat. Megan, bless her, is an old fashioned too hot to be nice type girl. Her creation lies in her being able to shake her ass at someone to get what she wants. Naomi Campbellitis to give it it's medical name. You can read an illuminating open letter from the Transformers crew to Megan here. When a crew who likes Mr Satan-incarnate, Michael Bay, hates your guts you know you're a mega-b#tch.

And as a side note alarm bells should start ringing when a girl covers herself in quirky and "meaningful" tattoos. That's an advert for the empty, atavistic nature of her soul.

Added: 148 days ago by By Jingo | Posted in: Celebs | 11 Comments

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