Added: 812 days ago by Alexisinwonderland | Posted in: Nerdcore | 14 Comments

Rating:

 

Share:     Embed:     Fave:    

Item added to your favorites.

You must be logged in to add to your faves. Use the login box on this page or click here to regsiter.

<div align='center'><a href='http://www.kontraband.com/blog/20541/Red-Dwarf-The-10-Best-Smegging-Episodes/'>Red Dwarf: The 10 Best Smegging Episodes</a><br><div align='center'></div><br><a href='http://www.kontraband.com/blog'>See more like this on kontraband.com</a></div>

Red Dwarf is, probably, one of the greatest science fiction sitcoms about 4 characters and their ship's computer lost in the vast absurdity of the universe set aboard a 6 mile long, 5 mile tall and 4 mile wide spaceship called Red Dwarf the world has ever known. For those that have seen it, it enriched our lives with its idiosyncratic characters, quotable lines and labyrinthine sci-fi plots. We won't talk about series VII and VIII though, with the (I can barely say it without my face contorting in abject disgust) the new Kochanski - so let's just act like they never happened and not dwell on them like a shape-changing genetic mutant feeding off my negative emotions. 'K?

Here's a look at some of the finest episodes this epic space farce ever produced, giving us endless silly quotes to mutter inanely like a secret code, you bunch of shape shifting pleasure GELFs.

1. Marooned
This has to be the best ever Red Dwarf episode purely for its total simplicity, allowing for some stunning uninterrupted monologues from our two disenfranchised heroes: Rimmer & Lister, who have crashed (evacuated from the mother ship on Holly's misguided advice) and are alone together on an arctic moon in Starbug. Lister tries to survive by a combination of the heretical burning of books and Rimmer's savings, the eating of Bonjela oral gum gel and dog food (FYI Craig Charles actually did eat cat food). It was one of the only episodes to be given a 15 certificate due to Lister's description of losing his virginity age 12 on a golf course, whilst Rimmer shares his only true comparable tale in which it turns out he actually had his hand in warm compost.

2. Back to Reality
An absolute classic and general favourite, Timothy Spall stars in this 1984 inspired dystopian nightmare fantasy brought on by ink from a suicide squid. The episode employs a genius mechanism when it comes to the car chases and helicopter scenes - which the BBC couldn't possibly afford, even in its most optimistic wet dreams - by switching to reveal the hallucination and showing the crew acting out said heroics in Starbug's hull, running round and round their polystyrene crates, in a truly British homage to community centre, armature dramatic theatricals.

3. The End
The one that kicked it all off, the first episode, and while it was the end for most of the crew of Red Dwarf is was the beginning of a brilliant new sitcom. You know it's going to be something special when the first episode's full of quotable gems like "Is that a cigarette your smoking Lister?" "No. It's a chicken" and Dave's questioning of whether certain members of the crew are still alive only to be told repeatedly by Holly that "Everybody's dead Dave".

4. Thanks for the Memory
This was nearly number one for its combination of awesomely clever narrative structure and ever tragically hilarious excavations of Rimmer's misanthropic mind - all the boys wake up with a dose of amnesia, one broken leg each and 4 pages torn out of Lister's diary. The mystery deepens further with some surf board sized foot prints on an adjacent planet surface, and a grave containing Red Dwarf's black box topped with a headstone which reads 'To the Memory of the Memory of Lisa Yates' - all tantalisingly queued up to be unravelled. Although comparatively I think it's the notion of Lister owning a diary which seems the most far fetched.

5. Meltdown
Whilst Rimmer turns into that power crazed general on a planet populated by warring historical wax droids ("Don't eyeball me, Ghandi"), Lister has to watch Winnie the Pooh being executed by firing squad (after refusing the blind fold). "That is something no one should ever have to see".

6. The Inquisitor
A self repairing stimulant survives till the end of time and comes to the conclusion that there is no God, no afterlife and the only possible point to existence can be to have lead a worthwhile life. Rimmer laments "Why didn't anyone tell me this earlier, if I'd known that the point was to lead a worthwhile life I could have tried. All those charity telethons I called into, I would have given them my credit card number". A concept that has truly haunted me since I first viewed it.although not enough to actually do anything about it.

7. White Hole
"Given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite...would you like a toasted teacake?" A superb episode with one of my favourite scenes which I'd like us all to pause and reflect on for a moment, it's the excellent "So what is it?" scene. "I think we've experienced this moment of time before, sir" "Only joking" "And that one." Sublime.

8. Terrorform
Simply one of the best openings scenes of a sitcom, ever. Kryton comes round after a crash, trapped and rapidly expiring, he fashions his one good hand and eye into a rescue party which turns up back on Red Dwarf. The messenger then climbs up the unsuspecting Lister's trouser leg as he sits at a computer terminal, dumb struck with fear Lister then engages in a hilarious typed conversation with the cat (who initially thinks he is playing an adventure game) which involves the lines:

Cat: I'm scared
Lister: You're scared!
Cat: You haven't seen it!!! - it's got an eye the size of a meatball.

Later on a planet's entire terrain is inspired by the landscape of Rimmer's mind. One word: Perdition.

9. Queeg
After another disastrous fail demonstrating - yet again - Holly's impotent intellect Lister is flung across the engineering room after a meteor strike, and the Red Dwarf back up computer Queeg is deployed to relieve Holly of his duties. "Look, Lister, no point feeling sorry about Holly. It's a kindness. Like a blind old incontinent sheepdog, he's had his day. Take him out to the barn with a double-barrelled shot-gun and blow the mother away. And I'm only saying that because I'm so fond of him." An archetypal cautionary tale of 'you don't know what you've got till it's gone' and how to create a dog's milk asteroid in one simple lesson.

10. Justice
"I would describe the accused as a git".

Added: 812 days ago by Alexisinwonderland | Posted in: Nerdcore | 14 Comments

Rating: