SPIN THE BLACK CIRCLE

Armed with one toy weapon in each hand, David Canterbury swung the Star Wars light sabers at three customers in a Toys R Us store in Oregon on December 14 last year.

The would-be Jedi then launched an attack at police officers waiting for him outside the store, successfully deflecting a stun gun dart, according to police at the scene. He was also said to have been mumbling something incoherently.

Judge Kenneth Walker handed the man a 45-day jail sentence, after he pleaded no contest to charges of assault and resisting arrest. The man was also submitted for a mental health evaluation.

SENIOR Conservatives have attacked the new Margaret Thatcher biopic for its 'disturbing' lack of sexual violence.

The Iron Lady, starring Meryl Streep as Britain's first sexy prime minister, focuses on Thatcher's political career but fails, according to leading Tories, to accurately depict the seething, erotic menace with which she could instantly fill a room.

Chancellor George Osborne said: "Meryl Streep never played a sexy role in her life, though I suppose hypothetically she did triple-team the blokes in Mamma Mia. "I was thinking more Marlon Brando from Last Tango in Paris. Or maybe Ursula from The Little Mermaid."