CHUCKY TARGET PRACTICE

A sketch to be performed by Borat star Sacha Baron Cohen at Sunday's Oscar ceremony has been axed, reports say. According to the New York magazine, an Academy Awards spokesman confirmed that the British actor was no longer scheduled to perform at the Oscars.

It is thought he had planned to poke fun at James Cameron's film Avatar in a comedy routine with Ben Stiller.

It is understood that the Ali G star had planned to appear on stage as one of Avatar's fictional blue-skinned female Na'vi characters, with Stiller translating what she was saying. After a while, Sacha Cohen would become angry and reveal he was pregnant with Cameron's baby and confront the director about it, who will be sitting in the audience.

Everyone has a friend who likes to think of themselves as a little bit crazy; not a gibbering, drooling padded-cell-living head case - but a little bit wacky. The type of person who puts a traffic cone on their head on a night out and goes running down the road with it while singing. You know the sort.

Well now's your chance to actually turn them into that gibbering mad person, and then watch them run about like an enraged zombie who's just had their dinner stolen. And the best thing, they need never know about it until you send the finished video, showing them on the rampage like an infected loon fresh from the local mental asylum.

All you need is a passport style photo of them, and all they need is a sense of humour.