1. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.


2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.


3. When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I can't remember, what I chose.


4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'


5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men-'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.


6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.


7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.


8. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.


9. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small. Note: When the hell was this written??


10. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.


11. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.


12. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......


13. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man 's life? A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.


14. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ? A: Breasts don't have eyes.


15. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives !!!

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