Scottish insults:

She had a f*nny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back

Look's like she's been dooking for apples in a chip pan

Had more hands up her than sooty!

She's got a face like a dog lickin pi*h off a nettle.

It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!

She's got a face that could make an onion cry.

I wouldn't ride her into battle.

Everyone has a right to be ugly, but she abuses the privilege

I wouldn't do her with a rusty pole

Mair chins than a Chinese phone book

She smells like an alkies carpet

She has seen more japseyes than an oriental optician

It's like sha*gin a pail of water.

It's like sha*gin the sleeve off a wizards cloak!

she's killed more co*ks than a fowl butcher

Fa*ny like a ripped out fireplace

Face like a sand blasted tomato

Ar*e like a bag of washing

She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant

She's seen more helmets than Hitler

Face like a stuntman's knee

She's got a fa*ny like a badly packed kebab

Like opening the window and sha*ging the night

She's seen more co*kends than weekends

A left her with a face like a painter's radio

Fa*ny like a clowns pocket

Fa*ny like a Hippo's yawn

She's that ugly not even a sniper would take her out

I bet she's got a fa*ny like a pub carpet

More pri*ks than a second hand dartboard.

Face like a blind joiners thumb

She's done more lengths than Duncan Goodhew

She's been shot over more times than Sarajevo

Even the tide wouldn't take her out

Got more finger prints on her than Scotland Yard

Handled more balls than Dino Zoff

Pi*h flaps like John Wayne's saddle bags

She had a pair of flaps on her like a gutted trout

A c*nt like a burst couch

A face like she's been ram raiding on scooters

She's had more seamen than Saltcoats

She's seen more stiffs than Quincy !

She's seen more cokes than a bottle of Bacardi!

C*cked more times than Elmer Fudds shotgun

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