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The Facts Of Life
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it)

If you broke wind consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it)

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig) (How'd they figure this out, and why?)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still can't get over that pig thing) (Don't try this at home...maybe at work?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?) (And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmmmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. (If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of....?) (Did taxpayers pay for this research??)

Polar bears are left handed. (Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out: ask them?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes....can you imagine?? And why pigs?)

A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death. (Creepy)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the....??!!#&%) (Well at least pigs get the break there....)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (In my next life I still want to be a pig....quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, geez) (That's almost as bad as catfish)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too.)

After reading all these, all I can say is... Lucky Pigs.
The Facts Of Life

THE FACTS OF LIFE


Comments: 11

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days...

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comments after the facts were the funniest part
Added: 853 days ago by frankielike
 

 
 

do you have an orgasm that lasts for a half our? this list is epic
Added: 1012 days ago by DeadDodo
 

 
 

maybe they asked the wrong one? maybe you did? all im getting from this is that polar bears lie!!!... and that i think im going somewhere with my life, cuz i keep getting called a pig(is that good then?)
Added: 1089 days ago by huntershadow
 

 
 

I LOL'D!
Added: 1156 days ago by Strickly K
 

 
 

Me too!
Added: 1155 days ago by Elliebear
 

 
 

i want to be a lionpig
Added: 1155 days ago by spungemunky69
 

 
 

That would be an orgasm ALL day long. Maybe I'm getting old but I would want a nap and a sandwich at some point.
Added: 1133 days ago by darkwingduck101
 

 
 

I read this a long time ago, but still funny!
Added: 1155 days ago by Shadow_Monkey
 

 
 

Some parts of pigs are the most similar to humans HMMMMMM! I 'm just thinking
Added: 1137 days ago by lutwani
 

 
 

Who cares about bears it's the pigs I'm interested in
Added: 1137 days ago by lutwani
 

 
 
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