MY KONTRABAND / SIGN UP >>

   
Things That Never Happen On Star Trek
The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type that it has encountered several times before.

The Enterprise goes to check up on a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly all right.

The Enterprise comes across a Garden-of-Eden-like planet called Paradise, where everyone is happy all the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly as it seems.

The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform, wearing a silly hat.

The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a strange alien plague, for which the cure is found in the well-stocked sickbay.

An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.

A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.

A power surge on the Bridge is fails to electrocute the user of a computer panel, due to a highly sophisticated 24th century surge-protection feature called a "fuse."

The Enterprise ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.

The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.

The Enterprise separates as soon as there is any danger.

The Enterprise gets involved in an enigmatic, strange, and dangerous situation, and there are no pesky aliens they can blame it on in the end.

The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence, which they easily pacify by offering it some sweeties.

The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp phenomenon, which is in no way connected with the 20th century.

Somebody takes out a shuttle and it doesn't explode or crash.

A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.

The shields on the Enterprise stay up during a battle.

The Enterprise visits the Klingon Homeworld on a bright, sunny day.

An attempt at undermining the Klingon-Federation alliance is discovered without anyone noting that such an attempt, if successful, "would represent a fundamental shift of power throughout the quadrant."

A major character spends the entire episode in the Holodeck without a single malfunction trapping him/her there.

Picard hears the door chime and doesn't bother to say "Come."

Picard doesn't answer a suggestion with "Make it so"!

Picard walks up to the replicator and says, "Coke on ice."

Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.

Mood rings come back in style, jeopardizing Counselor Troi's position.

Worf and Troi finally decide to get married, only to have Kate Pulaski show up and disrupt the wedding by shouting, "Did he read you love poetry?! Did he serve you poisonous tea?! He's mine!"

When Worf tells the bridge officers that something is entering visual range no one says "On screen."

Worf actually gives another vessel more than two seconds to respond to one of the Enterprise's hails.

Worf kills Wesley by mistake in the holodeck. (Pity this wasn't done in "Cause and Effect" then we could have seen it five times without rewinding the tape!)

Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates for being a smarmy git, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age for a change.

Wesley saves the ship, the Federation, and the Universe as we know it, and everyone is grateful (including the 'Net).

The warp engines start playing up a bit, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.

Wesley Crusher tries to upgrade the warp drive and they work better than ever.

Beverly Crusher manages to go through a whole episode without having a hot flash and getting breathless every time Picard is in the room.

Guinan forgets herself, and breaks into a stand-up comedy routine.

Data falls in love with the replicator.

Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.

The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less-advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.

An unknown res-shirt ensign beams down as part of an away team and lives to tell the tale.

Spock or Data is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone ever says says to him.

Kirk's hair remains consistent for more that one consecutive episode.

Kirk gets into a fistfight and doesn't rip his shirt.

Kirk doesn't get into a fistfight.

Kirk doesn't end up kissing the troubled guest-female before she doesn't sacrifice herself for him.

Scotty doesn't mention the laws of physics.

Spock isn't the only crew member not affected by new weapon/attack by alien race/etc due to his "darn green blood" or "bizarre Vulcan physiology" and thus he cannot save the day.

The episode ends without Bones and Kirk laughing at Spock's inability to understand the joke, and he doesn't raise his eyebrows!
Things That Never Happen On Star Trek

THINGS THAT NEVER HAPPEN ON STAR TREK


Comments: 10

The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type that it has encountered several times before

Email:     Embed:     Fave:     Rating:
 

User Comments / Add a Comment »

 
 

dammit jim, i'm a doctor not a pool boy!
Added: 1089 days ago by huntershadow
 

 
 

lawl!
Added: 1087 days ago by Waffles
 

 
 

meh. lame
Added: 1129 days ago by joshuapenman
 

 
 

classic
Added: 1131 days ago by serithwing
 

 
 

Engage!
Added: 1131 days ago by Strickly K
 

 
 

If u know what any of this means ur a nerd. who the hells Data?
Added: 1131 days ago by temari
 

 
 

QFT
Added: 1111 days ago by Gladius Angelorum
 

 
 

gay
Added: 1131 days ago by grizzly
 

 
 

if you DONT know what any of this means youre 15 years old. who the hell has a giant fan like your avatar?
Added: 1126 days ago by scapegoat123456
 

 
 

LOL...love this!
Added: 1131 days ago by AlphaDog
 

 
 
Add a comment!
To add a comment you must be logged in. Please login using the MY KONTRABAND panel above or click here to register.
 

Featured Content
Videos / Ricky Gervais - Satnav
Ricky Gervais - Satnav
Carl Pilkington says something dumb. Again.
Videos / The Clinic DVD
The Clinic DVD
This horror flick is now out on dvd.
Videos / A Singing Donkey
A Singing Donkey
It's not Madonna, it's a donkey!
Videos / Japanese Lesbians!
Japanese Lesbians! [R]
Hot. Japanese. Lesbians. COME ON!
Videos / Superbowl Unplugged
Superbowl Unplugged
A devious, awesome prank by Jimmy.
Pics / Kate Upton IS SO FRICKEN HOT!
Kate Upton IS SO FRICKEN HOT! [13]
Hotter than an eskimo salsa dancing at BBQ.
Videos / Sam L. Jackson on Halo3
Sam L. Jackson on Halo3
Bad ass man on a bad ass game.
Pics / Melissa Debling
Melissa Debling [R]
We lied, she didn't. She does have incredible breasts though.
Videos / Crazy Pageant Kid
Crazy Pageant Kid
Pageants: They make the kids mature!
Pics / Ladies Using Laptops
Ladies Using Laptops
A combination of my two favourite things.
Videos / Just The Essentials
Just The Essentials [15]
No head needed in this video.
Videos / Impressions By Terry Mynott
Impressions By Terry Mynott
Amazing impressions by this talented bloke!
Videos / The Flip Side Bar
The Flip Side Bar
A look into the flip side of the bar scene.
Videos / Soapy Breast On Breast Action!
Soapy Breast On Breast Action! [R]
Two women, four boobs, in the bath!
Videos / Superbown Unpluggage!
Superbown Unpluggage!
This looks mighty dangerous!
Videos / Sketchy Andy's Showreel
Sketchy Andy's Showreel
Some of Sketchy Andy's sketchy stunts.
Videos / Insanely Hot Blonde
Insanely Hot Blonde [R]
I'm so glad she fell out of those clothes!
Videos / Cat Plays Fruit Ninja
Cat Plays Fruit Ninja
Cat plays Fruit Ninja and plays it well!
Pics / Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan
She's just the right side of naughty
Pics / Brittany Fuchs
Brittany Fuchs [R]
Dances the dance of the horzontal melonfly.
Pics / Edgar Allen Poe Tats
Edgar Allen Poe Tats
A tattoo owned exclusively by geeks.
Videos / These Guys Are The Future
These Guys Are The Future
A worrying lack of general knowledge!
Videos / Rock 'n' Roll Star
Rock 'n' Roll Star
This is what rock 'n' roll does to you!
Pics / Red Octavia
Red Octavia [R]
Octavia Swift is clean, yet rather dirty.
Videos / The Amazing Spider-Man 3D
The Amazing Spider-Man 3D
Ooooh, and it's in 3D too! Yay headaches!
Pics / Funny Exam Answers
Funny Exam Answers
The most awesome answers to exam Qs.
Videos / Kitty Lea Topless!
Kitty Lea Topless! [R]
Lounging around with the lizards looking fine!
Videos / OK Go - Needing/Getting
OK Go - Needing/Getting
OK Go are the masters of original videos!
Videos / Bra Busting Boobs!
Bra Busting Boobs! [R]
Big boobs breaking bras!
 
 
KONTRABAND NINJA FILTER
close [x]
By switching off the Ninja Filter, you are choosing to view ALL content items, including R-Rated items that are intended for mature audiences. You must be over 17 years of age to turn off the Ninja Filter.