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How To Tick People Off
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
How To Tick People Off

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF


Comments: 12

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

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User Comments / Add a Comment »

 
 

omg great list 23 funniest thing i have ever heard
Added: 852 days ago by frankielike
 

 
 

this was an awesome list...
Added: 947 days ago by dominizer
 

 
 

ask bums for change
Added: 989 days ago by chelseascrazy
 

 
 

</3 too bad.
Added: 1020 days ago by mycroft
 

 
 

it is very annoying if you type like this where you switch every other capitalisation of the word or something like that.
Added: 1036 days ago by mycroft
 

 
 

lol at #31
Added: 1037 days ago by Strickly K
 

 
 

who doesn't do 14
Added: 1037 days ago by trickortreat
 

 
 

exactly! lol
Added: 1034 days ago by temari
 

 
 

lol. kontraband doesn't let you have capitals. at all, ok? lol.
Added: 1036 days ago by temari
 

 
 

lol indeed. i love 24. do it alot! and 27. that's funny! these rock!!!!!!!!!
Added: 1037 days ago by temari
 

 
 
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