20. "During sex I fantasize that I'm someone else."

-Richard Lewis


19. "Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them."

-Kevin Costner


18. "I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible."

-Leslie Nielsen


17. "Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs."

-George Carlin


16. "It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."

-Drew Carey


15. "If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no sex life at all."

-Rodney Dangerfield


14. "Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy."

-Steve Martin


13. "Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night."

-Woody Allen


12. "It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on."

-Marilyn Monroe


11. "My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty."

-Woody Allen


10. "It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it."

-Winston Churchill


9. "When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities."

-Matt Groening


8. "The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less."

-Brendan Francis


7. "There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid."

-Denis Leary


6. "An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex."

-Edgar Wallace


5. "I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own."

-Woody Allen


4. "We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."

-Robin Williams


3. "Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them."

-Steve Martin


2. "My girlfriend said to me in bed last night 'You're a pervert' I said, 'That's a big word for a girl of nine'."

-Emo Philips


1. "If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humour was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of sex."

-Kate Beckinsale

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