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Dear People Of The United Kingdom
Dear people of the United Kingdom

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.

Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

Gordon Brown
Dear People Of The United Kingdom

DEAR PEOPLE OF THE UNITED KINGDOM


Comments: 11

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy...

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this is not funny in the slightest.i've seen funnier things in my semen.
Added: 238 days ago by spungemunky69
 

 
 

yeah like another guys tongue
Added: 238 days ago by Gonzo Punch
 

 
 

nice to know what you find funny.
Added: 237 days ago by spungemunky69
 

 
 

what's funnier is that he was referring to himself.
Added: 233 days ago by zorbee
 

 
 

lmao
Added: 247 days ago by AlphaDog
 

 
 

there are others like this. some are pretty funny.
Added: 247 days ago by anderson
 

 
 

i'm sure the person that wrote it thought they were being very subversive and edgy.
Added: 248 days ago by Koncorde
 

 
 

substitute uk with any country
Added: 250 days ago by Strickly K
 

 
 

first! and not that funny. i didn't lol.
Added: 250 days ago by Xarr
 

 
 

how sad for you
Added: 250 days ago by MDB021
 

 
 
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