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You Know You Are A Geek When
  • You look at a movie trailer and think, "I have that typeface."

  • You set up an automatic rerouting of your e-mail to your pager.

  • You get sudden attacks of bittersweet nostalgic feelings when thinking about your long-lost old Commodore 64, Sinclair ZX-81, TRS-80 (or whatever hardware you were raised on), and use large amounts of money/time trying to track one down.

  • You are wearing ten year old spectacles, made of steel.

  • You realize you _never_ cook, eating only take-away pizza.

  • You check your web access_page more than once a day.

  • You seriously consider devoting a web page to your computer. (Not the brand, mind you, but the actual computer itself)

  • You have more e-mail addresses than you do pairs of shoes.

  • You get depressed when you get less than 10 e-mail msgs a day.

  • You already know what you want to write both Master's papers and your dissertation about, and you just graduated from College.

  • You can discuss the philosophical and physical differences among the tangos.

  • Although vaguely insulted by pocket-protector jokes, you still find them funny.

  • You plan to get two Masters degrees.

  • You start getting paranoid you aren't getting all your e-mail.(If you have sent me e-mail, and there seems to be no life from me, try again.)

  • Someone asks you what languages you know, and you reply Upper Slavic, French, Esperanto and C.

  • You spend more than 10 minutes contemplating how traffic lights work.

  • You can talk for hours about how, in 25 years, the whole country won't have E-Mail addresses.

  • You design detailed floorplans before moving all of your furniture around.

  • You've created a new variety of rose.

  • If anyone has said to you: "You are Jhayden?!?! I see you on the Vax all the time!" (Insert the appropirate substitutions, as appropriate.)

  • You set up your own newsgroup.

  • If you know the correct pronunciation of Tex, Linux, and TCL.

  • If you paid $6000 for your computer and $500 for your car.

  • There's a newsgroup dedicated to you because of your netly activities.

  • Someone mentions the Q Continuum, and you know what that means.

  • You seriously consider scanning in a picture of a squirrel, just to bug Maryam. (Got the nice picture; am using it for blackmail.)

  • You get really excited that your mixer has a dough hook.

  • Everyone in the neighborhood brings you (to) their computers to figure out what is wrong.

  • You can hold detailed technical conversations in a second language.

  • You are on the Obscure Software and Computer Crap Junk Mailing Lists

  • You can explain how AppleTalk Networks work.

  • Sleep and nightime are no longer irrevocably linked

  • You arrange to get e-mail access no matter where you go.

  • WAIS is your life.

  • You walk past a Con and people know who you are.

  • You have a definite philosphy of stacking wood for fires.

  • You hear the word "Scuzzy" and the first thing you think of is not an adjective.

  • You went to a high school where the only team with a winning record was the Chess team.

  • You rig up elaborate mechanisms to do really basic tasks.

  • You know about USENET cultures in groups you don't even read.

  • You put your pathfinder on the web

  • You get REALLY excited when people from countries with limited access to the 'net are frequent visitors to your pages.

  • You don't hand in final papers unless they've been formatted on a desktop publishing program.

  • You write web pages about your web pages.

  • Your favorite part of Geometry was proving theorems.

  • You've ever contemplated collecting graters.

  • You can remember your web address faster than your phone number.

  • You'll spend a long time customizing a computer you'll use for one day to the absolute pinacle of comfort, but you won't bother to spend two hours sewing up a skirt, and wear the damn thing sarong style.

  • You do your best work after 11 p.m.

  • You work in a building where you need a badge to move between floors.

  • You calculate the odds of getting one of the primo parking spaces in relation to your apartment, factoring in time, weather, season, etc, and are accurate over 80% of the time.

  • You can count the number of moderately good hacker/computer dude type films on one hand. (I promised not to froth at the mouth when I went to go see The Net -- I failed miserably. )

  • You've bought one of those license plate holders on which you can have your URL or E-Mail address embossed.

  • You head straight past People and the always entertaining Weekly World News for this month's Computer Shopper

  • You can track the geek gene through your family tree.

  • You froth at the mouth when someone talks about the "Information Superhighway."

  • You are a member of the USENET elite, invoked in posts in threads to which you have not posted.

  • You can sing Tom Lehrer's element song.

  • Not only is your computer in the center of your room, it's set up so as allow 'netting from your couch, as well as your desk chair.

  • You arrange your jobs so you can telecommute.

  • You organize your CDs, so the tops all face upward, alphabetically, or by record label (If you do more than one of these, you are an Anal-Retentive Geek).

  • You spend a lot of time figuring out which of 100 adult goldfish are the most fertile, have the strongest genes, and combined to produce tiny little goldfish.

  • You carry an 88 mb removable cartridge to and from work.

  • You can sing any song from Grease 2. If you do the hand movements while singing, you should get out more.

  • You plot to get your grandmother on E-mail.

  • You've ever contemplated devoting a web page to World News Now, Kevin, Thalia, Bill, Shielah, Nissan, Okido, Asha, Dick Schapp, Willis, or, natch, Barry.
  • You Know You Are A Geek When

    YOU KNOW YOU ARE A GEEK WHEN


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