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Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy...
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I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train...
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Smart man + smart woman = romance.
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1. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth Cause I'm Kissing You Good-bye.
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A businessman sends an email to his wife.
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A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town...
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Q. How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
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Women: Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks
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A local bar regular had been drinking all night
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Speedometer = Der Egobooster und Linenshooter
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"During sex I fantasize that I'm someone else." Richard Lewis
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A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother...
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1. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
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Marine 1: Did you hear the announcement? We're being reassigned.
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1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
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Fire a machine gun loaded with blanks at the White House...
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I went to a Roger Moore James Bond party last night...
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My wife couldn't wait to get home after our wedding reception...
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A kindergarten teacher is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely"
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1. "Scattered f#cking showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC
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If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah...
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Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
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A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday...
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Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
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A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college...
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