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Women: Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks
A local bar regular had been drinking all night
Speedometer = Der Egobooster und Linenshooter
"During sex I fantasize that I'm someone else." Richard Lewis
A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother...
1. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
Marine 1: Did you hear the announcement? We're being reassigned.
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
Fire a machine gun loaded with blanks at the White House...
I went to a Roger Moore James Bond party last night...
My wife couldn't wait to get home after our wedding reception...
A kindergarten teacher is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely"
1. "Scattered f#cking showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah...
Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday...
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college...
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects...
The frequently inspiring, always hilarious Biiiiiiiiiiiiill!!!
A husband walks into the new department store to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife...
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