GOLDFISH FACE FETISH

Two months since L.A. burlesque troupe Devil's Playground first wowed nerdy audience members as theytook on the characters of Star Wars (Episodes IV-VI).

Since then, a lot has happened. They've moved to the Music Box in Hollywood & with the extra space they've transformed the show into an experience, complete with additional characters, revamped costumes and new sets.

As well as the usual suspects: Slave Leia, a Stormtrooper, Darth Vader, Boba Fett, C-3PO, and, amazingly, Jabba the Hutt you can also see an Imperial Commander, Chewbacca and even R2D2 bare all and then ask some serious questions of yourself.

AN EARLY form of Sugababes could have existed during the reign of King Henry VIII, it emerged last night. Documents and paintings discovered in a secret chamber at Hampton Court Palace refer to a trio of female entertainers know as 'The Sweet Women', who wore low cut bodices and caked more cochineal and lead-based poster paint onto their faces than other ladies of the time.

Tom Logan, professor of applied sugababeology at Reading University, said: "When Henry wasn't dissolving monks or testing the thickness of his wife's neck fat, he liked to settle down with a teenage Spanish virgin, a big bucket of goats testicles and watch three high society ladies slut it up on the dance floor.

"We believe these women - Lady Charlotte D'Agney, Lady Elizabeth Villieux and the third one, Beyonce of Arundel, could very well have been the first in the long line of tone deaf jail-bait that evolved into the current Sugababes."