I HAD A MISHAP

Two Welsh men have been charged in Australia with stealing a fairy penguin called Dirk. The pair, aged 20 and 21, allegedly entered Sea World on Queensland's Gold Coast and removed the flightless bird, which has reportedly never lived in the wild.

The two British men, along with a teenager, were charged with trespass, stealing and keeping a protected animal.

The BBC quoted one of the Welsh men, Rhys Jones, as saying: "Still a bit fuzzy about the whole thing but on behalf of the three of us we are very sorry and it was just a prank which went way too far."

JCB's Toughphone range of horrendously pimped black & yellow mobiles has been updated with a proper smartphone option, thanks to the Android-powered Toughphone Pro-Smart.

However, it is neither very smart or particularly professional. Beneath that appalling rugged plastic casing sits a small 3.2? touch screen, which is powered by a rather weedy 800MHz processor. Android 2.3 is the OS. It's a 2009 Android phone in a 1979 case, basically.

It's not all bad, though. JCB's added a 2000mAh battery to the thing, so it ought to stay alive for longer then the numerous higher-spec Android models out there, plus you get a two-year warranty thanks to the protective nature of that monstrous plastic and its IP67 water-resistant certification.