EXCLUSIVE PAINTED JEANS

My current roommate seemed pretty cool at first, until I realized that she sleeps ALL THE TIME. When I leave for my 9AM class, she's asleep. When I come back at around noon, she's asleep. After my 3PM class, she's asleep.

She wakes up at around 11PM, does homework until 3AM, then sleeps again. I literally couldn't make a sound in my room, EVER, or she would flip out. Well last weekend she went to visit home. We had just made a grocery run, and she bought TONS of perishable foods.

So after she left, I unplugged her fridge. On Sunday, when I knew she was about five minutes away, I plugged it back in. She basically came back to a hundred bucks of rotten food. Luckily she's not smart enough to realize what happened. Oops.

Doc: What seems to be the problem? Uncle B: My neurons have been bashed around to the extent I can no longer write headlines that make any discernible sense. Not only do they not make sense, they rarely relate to any content on the page and would probably only be useful in describing a silly 70s festival where people wear mad velvet top hats and spangly clogs .

Doc: Have you been mixing class A narcotics, mind-bending amounts of alcohol and reading choose-your-own-adventure novels from front to back again? Uncle B: No, doctor. All I did was stare at pictures of the amazing Scouse Amy and then I felt a sharp exit of all rationality rhythmically flow out of my brain and into my groin . It happened immediately and felt rather good.