The internet's fastest growing child exchange network! And the favourite website of a certain bear, I hear he's soon to be their spokesperson. It's a bit like swapping trading cards at elementary school, like Garbage Pail Kids (if you remember those).

So if you've had a child and you can't bear the sight of them any more, say they're just not quite as sporty as you wished or they're a bit of a wimp and get bullied a lot. Then you can put them on this site, create a profile for them, and then trade them for your perfect son or daughter. Be prepared to haggle though, some parents drive a hard bargain.

Don't hang onto an unwanted child. If you wanted a boy and you got a girl, or vice versa, then just swap them, it works out best for everybody. You want your child to be happy, right? Then trade them!

Make sure you have a constitution that can withstand a superhuman drug intake, you degenerate filth monkey. And make sure you bring along your Samoan attorney who is to drugs what competitive eating champion Takeru Kobayashi is to food. The man is a soldier.

I like the idea of a board game based around a crazed drug-induced search for the American Dream in the deserts of a place so corrupted if you dug into that sand deep enough you'd find politicians hiding with their second home and bags of dirty money.

And whoever's created it is auctioning it on eBay, so smoke a crack pipe, neck 20 tabs of LSD while freebasing a Columbian's face and get over there and get it you lazy drug fiend.