BACON HITLER

JCB's Toughphone range of horrendously pimped black & yellow mobiles has been updated with a proper smartphone option, thanks to the Android-powered Toughphone Pro-Smart.

However, it is neither very smart or particularly professional. Beneath that appalling rugged plastic casing sits a small 3.2? touch screen, which is powered by a rather weedy 800MHz processor. Android 2.3 is the OS. It's a 2009 Android phone in a 1979 case, basically.

It's not all bad, though. JCB's added a 2000mAh battery to the thing, so it ought to stay alive for longer then the numerous higher-spec Android models out there, plus you get a two-year warranty thanks to the protective nature of that monstrous plastic and its IP67 water-resistant certification.

OWNERS of Mazda's popular affordable roadster are certain they attract admiring glances, it has been claimed.

As the weather improves, the reasonably-priced sports car containing balding men and their wives is once again ubiquitous on UK roads. And according to research by the Institute for Studies, 94% of Mx-5 drivers would describe themselves as 'cool'.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: "Although this little car has obvious merits, it is perhaps less charismatic than the middle-managers and hairdressers that drive it like to believe. I mean, you wouldn't see George Clooney driving one, unless he'd just had an incredibly expensive divorce."