Have we got an excellent issue of Monkey Magazine here for you or what? Firstly we have Francoise Boufhal's spankingly sexy new shoot, then we've piled on 37 of Kelly Brook's sexiest pictures, so you'll soon begin to realise just how perfectly stacked this issue is.

Can you find Emma Glove in our doorstep challenge? There are 20 doors to choose from and once you find the right one, she will perform a very sexy striptease, just for you. (And all our other readers obviously).

Carmen is Back! Yup, your eyes aren't deceiving you. The dangerously hot camgirl has managed to turn things up a notch. Need a new high res wallpaper? Then look stop right there. This week we have selected the very keen and very sexy Jillian Beyor. Trust us, you'll love her.

Well that's about all there is to say, apart from have a rip-roaringly good week and be careful of all the autumn leaves on the ground, statistically seven of you will tread in dog mess this week. DON'T BE A VICTIM!

We're all for tolerance of other people's beliefs here at Kontraband, but it's always cheering to hear about Scientology taking a beating because it seems to rest on manipulation, the promise of life-improvements and lots of other batsh#t. Using pseudo-psychological processes like "returning" to erase painful memories called "engrams" (a term Mr Hubbard stole from neuropsychology), they seek to enlighten, but are in fact doing the opposite by closing people's reality tunnels.

All Hubbard's theorizing is just the raping and pillaging of modern science for his own means, warping, bending and reshaping to fit his personal philosophy. Which is fine, but to turn that into a cult which claims legitimacy, well, it doesn't strike me as a trustworthy organisation.

Which is why it's good to hear this, that they've been convicted of fraud because that's what they are: fraudsters.