We're all for tolerance of other people's beliefs here at Kontraband, but it's always cheering to hear about Scientology taking a beating because it seems to rest on manipulation, the promise of life-improvements and lots of other batsh#t. Using pseudo-psychological processes like "returning" to erase painful memories called "engrams" (a term Mr Hubbard stole from neuropsychology), they seek to enlighten, but are in fact doing the opposite by closing people's reality tunnels.

All Hubbard's theorizing is just the raping and pillaging of modern science for his own means, warping, bending and reshaping to fit his personal philosophy. Which is fine, but to turn that into a cult which claims legitimacy, well, it doesn't strike me as a trustworthy organisation.

Which is why it's good to hear this, that they've been convicted of fraud because that's what they are: fraudsters.

So, want to know how to win this glorious prize? Have you got 5 minutes to spare? Then go wrestle a crocodile while wearing a three-piece suit made of rotting meat. Then once you've done this mail us the head of the croc and we'll send you an iPod Touch. Easy.

Of course, I'm joking. It's a shark you need to wrestle. Aha! No, if you have 5 minutes to spare, which I'm sure you have seeing as you're on this site, click here and fill in the Kontraband survey for all budding ninjas and ninjettes; telling us your thoughts, what you like to watch and what you think of the site.

Don't hold back now. And don't worry, you won't be spammed by a Nigerian asking you to advance various sums of money so you can eventually become rich beyond your wildest dreams. Promise.