SOLDIER OF FORTUNE / HOUSE CAT

Facebook is today launching its Initial Public Offering, selling shares at $38 and somehow valuing the morons who fill your newsfeed with poorly articulated tedious updates at approximately $120 each.

With a market value of $108bn, Facebook is apparently somehow under the impression that each of their 900 million users is worth more than an iPod shuffle.

Facebook user Simon Williams said, "I considered investing, of course - who wouldn't? But then I realised that the majority of people who use Facebook are essentially bereft of worth, both financially and emotionally."

Google doesn't like vulnerabilities in its projects, and has discovered that one of the best ways to make them go away is to pay people scads of cash for finding them.

Last Februrary at their Pwnium contest, Google offered up to $1 million in prizes to hackers who could uncover dangerous vulnerabilites in the Windows 7 version of Chrome.

That wasn't just a one time deal; Google also has ongoing awards for people who can find vulnerabilities in anything of theirs, and they just upped the ante from around $3,000 to $20,000.