MARRYING a beautiful woman who shares your hopes and dreams is still nowhere near as good as Predator, according to a new survey.

A poll of husbands for Bride magazine found that 80% rated the classic Schwarzenegger gore-fest as a more satisfying experience involving higher levels of excitement and intellectual stimulation than a lifetime commitment to some woman

"When Arnie looks up from the body of a pal who's just had several major organs vaporized by a seven foot skull-collecting merchant of death from space and says - 'if it bleeds, we can kill it'. It changed my outlook on life. Don't get me wrong - I like my wife. But I love Predator."

Everyone has a friend who likes to think of themselves as a little bit crazy; not a gibbering, drooling padded-cell-living head case - but a little bit wacky. The type of person who puts a traffic cone on their head on a night out and goes running down the road with it while singing. You know the sort.

Well now's your chance to actually turn them into that gibbering mad person, and then watch them run about like an enraged zombie who's just had their dinner stolen. And the best thing, they need never know about it until you send the finished video, showing them on the rampage like an infected loon fresh from the local mental asylum.

All you need is a passport style photo of them, and all they need is a sense of humour.