TREE KNOCKOUT

A bear climbed into an empty car in the US state of Colorado, sounded the horn and sent the vehicle rolling down hill with the terrified animal still inside.

The car's owner, 17-year-old Ben Story, took a snap of the panic-stricken bear as it demolished the inside of his vehicle in its bid to escape. Police in Larkspur, near Denver, eventually freed the animal by opening the door from a distance using a rope.

It is believed the bear was attracted by a sandwich left on the back seat. Mr Story and his family were asleep when the bear opened the unlocked door of his 2008 Toyota Corolla in the early hours of the morning and climbed inside.

DON'T ask people where you can find Bin Laden. They get that a lot. It is the easiest way to identify yourself as a tourist, short of wearing an "I <3 Peshawar" t-shirt.

DO bring a gun. Osama has had professional weapons-training, famously supplied to him by the CIA. If you begin to come into his range of visibility, keep low, and if possible wear camo. If, like Brooks, you wish to bring a sword, unlike Brooks, it ought to be a proper killing-based sword, not a ceremonial one. Ceremonial swords are excellent if you wish to partake in The Trooping Of The Colour. Less so if you wish to behead a terror mastermind.

DON'T forget to pay a visit the Sethi Mohallah district in downtown Peshawar - an area that bristles with unique houses that blend the art and architecture of both the Gandhara region and Central Asia, to charming effect.