ATTACK OF THE DIMWITS

Wayne Bridge may not have wanted to shake John Terry's hand, but you can be guaranteed he'd love to get his mitts on the brand new issue of Monkey - especially round Lanny Barby's lovely jubblies on the cover. Just check out their perfect roundness. Googlarooney!

On page 10, we've raided a host of famous Hollywood homes just so we can bring you the very ace Hollywood Yearbook picture quiz. See, risking imprisonment just to bring you top entertainment. We're that dedicated!

Elsewhere, there's a gallery of the GREATEST celebrity photobombs ever, James 'tubby' Corden's mental Man United pep talk and a VIDEO of more sweet Lanny Barby toplessness. And on the subject of BOOBS, we've also got galleries of Vikki Blows, Gemma Massey and Jade Jagger's shapely melons. You will love it all. Oh yes, indeedy.

MARRYING a beautiful woman who shares your hopes and dreams is still nowhere near as good as Predator, according to a new survey.

A poll of husbands for Bride magazine found that 80% rated the classic Schwarzenegger gore-fest as a more satisfying experience involving higher levels of excitement and intellectual stimulation than a lifetime commitment to some woman

"When Arnie looks up from the body of a pal who's just had several major organs vaporized by a seven foot skull-collecting merchant of death from space and says - 'if it bleeds, we can kill it'. It changed my outlook on life. Don't get me wrong - I like my wife. But I love Predator."