Have we got an excellent issue of Monkey Magazine here for you or what? Firstly we have Francoise Boufhal's spankingly sexy new shoot, then we've piled on 37 of Kelly Brook's sexiest pictures, so you'll soon begin to realise just how perfectly stacked this issue is.

Can you find Emma Glove in our doorstep challenge? There are 20 doors to choose from and once you find the right one, she will perform a very sexy striptease, just for you. (And all our other readers obviously).

Carmen is Back! Yup, your eyes aren't deceiving you. The dangerously hot camgirl has managed to turn things up a notch. Need a new high res wallpaper? Then look stop right there. This week we have selected the very keen and very sexy Jillian Beyor. Trust us, you'll love her.

Well that's about all there is to say, apart from have a rip-roaringly good week and be careful of all the autumn leaves on the ground, statistically seven of you will tread in dog mess this week. DON'T BE A VICTIM!

Who really cares about the Olympics? People who go on about adrenalin rushes and the "natural" high brought on from running ten kilometres a day are invariably boring assholes. What about taking part in a competitive sport which is actually fun and doesn't leave your legs feeling like they've been hit with a pool ball in a sock for five hours?

We're talking about San Francisco's annual Fap-a-thon, which is a bit like those telethons that they used to do on TV in the 80s to raise money for charity but with jerking off instead of dumb-ass celebrity dance routines and teddy bear mascots.

There are prizes in different categories, from "Longest Squirt" to "Most Orgasms," but the real sportsmen are found in the "longest time spent fapping" event.