We all love cats, right? Otherwise why would you be on the internet. We all love their cute little faces when they look up at you with those wide eyes and longing looks. Purring and rubbing themselves against your leg looking for some more cat food.

But what do you really know about your cat? I don't mean when it goes missing for days and comes back with a glint in its eye, the smell of dead mice on its fur and a coat hanger in its tail. Those are private cat activities that us humans should not delve into.

I mean like how many front and back paws it has or whether it can taste sweet things or not? Well now's the time to get with the program and find out.

Something we've all claimed to have done, had mind-blowing intercourse. So mind-blowing that your partner lost their memory? Because that's what happened here triggering a condition called transient global amnesia. It happens to every girl I'm with, you know. Yeah.

I wonder what other bizarre conditions making the beast with two backs can trigger? The John Wayne shuffle? A feeling of deep inadequacy that forces you to live underground like an animal with the shame of two thousand years of repression and disgust? Is that even a scientific condition or it just emotional retardation, or religion?

Who knows, I forget, maybe I've got transient global amnesia. So anyway, be careful out there and try to avoid any intense physical activity, basically just stay in front of the computer screen where you'll be safe.