Usually when you see a heading like that you immediately think of a woman alone enjoying herself with a toy. Well cleanse your mind of those perverted thoughts you degenerate. It is in fact a new scientific breakthrough, researchers have grown rabbit penises that are fully functional. Awesome.

Now I can fulfil that dream I've always had of covering my head in male rabbit genitalia. Yes! I'll be the envy of all my friends, guys will want to be me girls will want to be, on me. I'll be invincible and I'll be able to satisfy a hundred female rabbits at once. Yeah baby.

Jealous? I know you are. We all know a rabbit foot is lucky, well head full of rabbit dick is even luckier.

According to this Wikipedia comparison chart the cereal fronting Count is the vampire who is the toughest undead pale-faced fictional goon out there, as his only weakness is that he gets a bit soggy in milk. He's either impervious or indifferent to all the usual vampire slaying suspects like stakes through the heart, sunlight and garlic.

So forget the terrifying preternatural monstrosity of Nosferatu, or the Gothic horror of Bram Stoker's Count Dracula. A simple ray of sunlight or stake through the heart and they'll be turning to dust quicker than a freshly swatted moth.

So next time you give the kids their cereal be mindful that the most fearsome, strongest Prince of Darkness isn't lurking in every bowl. Muhahaha. Muahahahahahahaha!