LETTERMAN CALLS THE CHEAT TEAM

Two dejected armed cops stare blankly into space after smashing their £30,000 patrol car into a set of infamous rise-and-fall traffic bollards.

The officers from an elite Tactical Firearms Unit, were heading to an incident when the electronically operated bollards - designed to let buses onto a restricted road - rose up under their unmarked BMW 530i and wrecked the front of the vehicle.

The male and female PCs - both sporting body armour with guns in their holsters - had to wait an excruciating two hours for a tow truck to take the wrecked police car away - whilst laughing onlookers took pictures with their mobile phones.

Two Welsh men have been charged in Australia with stealing a fairy penguin called Dirk. The pair, aged 20 and 21, allegedly entered Sea World on Queensland's Gold Coast and removed the flightless bird, which has reportedly never lived in the wild.

The two British men, along with a teenager, were charged with trespass, stealing and keeping a protected animal.

The BBC quoted one of the Welsh men, Rhys Jones, as saying: "Still a bit fuzzy about the whole thing but on behalf of the three of us we are very sorry and it was just a prank which went way too far."