According to this Wikipedia comparison chart the cereal fronting Count is the vampire who is the toughest undead pale-faced fictional goon out there, as his only weakness is that he gets a bit soggy in milk. He's either impervious or indifferent to all the usual vampire slaying suspects like stakes through the heart, sunlight and garlic.

So forget the terrifying preternatural monstrosity of Nosferatu, or the Gothic horror of Bram Stoker's Count Dracula. A simple ray of sunlight or stake through the heart and they'll be turning to dust quicker than a freshly swatted moth.

So next time you give the kids their cereal be mindful that the most fearsome, strongest Prince of Darkness isn't lurking in every bowl. Muhahaha. Muahahahahahahaha!

Something we've all claimed to have done, had mind-blowing intercourse. So mind-blowing that your partner lost their memory? Because that's what happened here triggering a condition called transient global amnesia. It happens to every girl I'm with, you know. Yeah.

I wonder what other bizarre conditions making the beast with two backs can trigger? The John Wayne shuffle? A feeling of deep inadequacy that forces you to live underground like an animal with the shame of two thousand years of repression and disgust? Is that even a scientific condition or it just emotional retardation, or religion?

Who knows, I forget, maybe I've got transient global amnesia. So anyway, be careful out there and try to avoid any intense physical activity, basically just stay in front of the computer screen where you'll be safe.