BILLY MAYS AUTOTUNE TRIBUTE

AN EARLY form of Sugababes could have existed during the reign of King Henry VIII, it emerged last night. Documents and paintings discovered in a secret chamber at Hampton Court Palace refer to a trio of female entertainers know as 'The Sweet Women', who wore low cut bodices and caked more cochineal and lead-based poster paint onto their faces than other ladies of the time.

Tom Logan, professor of applied sugababeology at Reading University, said: "When Henry wasn't dissolving monks or testing the thickness of his wife's neck fat, he liked to settle down with a teenage Spanish virgin, a big bucket of goats testicles and watch three high society ladies slut it up on the dance floor.

"We believe these women - Lady Charlotte D'Agney, Lady Elizabeth Villieux and the third one, Beyonce of Arundel, could very well have been the first in the long line of tone deaf jail-bait that evolved into the current Sugababes."

An airline passenger ate his £8,930 winning scratch card after he was told he could not claim the money immediately, it has emerged.

The unnamed man was flying with Ryanair from Krakow in Poland to East Midlands Airport when he won 10,000 euros with the scratch card. Crew on board the flight confirmed he had won the prize but told the passenger he would have to collect the jackpot directly from the company that runs the competition as it was such a large sum.

Ryanair said the man then became frustrated and started to eat his winning ticket, ruling out any chance he had of claiming the prize money which will now be donated to charity.