REGGIE WATTS 'I JUST WANT TO'

Here at Monkey we think true legends are mighty thin on the ground at present. Football? We see no true legends. Some Politics? Blah. Bunch of backstabbing Casper Milquetoasts. Sexy legends? Hmm. Jesse Jane. She's a legend!

. CHERYL COLE 2011 CALENDAR! Yes, we know summer has only just finished, but these things take time, dear reader, time. Start enjoying now for the New Year!

. NAKED BUBBLE GALLERY! - 'Bubbling' is the fun game taking the 'net by storm - sexy celebs with strategic 'bubbles' on their naughty bits! Pop!

. FOOTBALL GEOGRAPHY QUIZ! - Could you place Scunthorpe United and Burton Albion on a map of the UK? Yes? Well then, try the other 13 teams we've cunningly picked for our Football Geography Quiz!

. ANFIELD, 1964 - By God, football crowds really used to raise the roof back in the day. Have a look at these superb Scousers giving it some vocals, and weep at how sanitised it's all become.

And finally - WTF? - A truly, epically mashed up girl shaming herself at the Notting Hill Carnival and God's Singing Dog to make you go huh this week.

So, within my first week of college, my roommate had already locked me out (four times), thrown away all my food (it was ruining her "vibe") and smeared some sticky, black paste all over my bed ("for the spirits").

Then, a couple of days ago, I walked in on her hanging a tiny voodoo doll with my face on a little noose made of dental floss in the bathroom. Yeah. I was a little scared. So, I was the theatre star in high school and my friend works in special effects. We set up a little scare for her.

Needless to say, my roomie gave up the whole creeper thing when she saw me laying in the bathroom, "dead" and covered in "blood." Maybe I went a little too far, leaving a rope noose on her bed. When she came back an hour later, I pretended like she had imagined the entire thing. Now she is the best roomie ever! Love ya Katie!