LINDSAY LOHAN MUSE MAGAZINE

Can you smell autumn in the air? We can, and it makes us happy. The trees become a riot of colour, cosy nights in beckon, and a flood of new girls sign up for Monkey! This week the lovely Danni Kalifornia makes her Monkey debut.

Tiffany Eesha Devine! - A 20-year-old psychology graduate with a name like this just demands your attention! Fat Superheros! - It's a shame, but when real people - usually men - try to act the Superhero they usually look like prize donuts.

Boozing Holidays! - From Cuba to Prague, rum to lager, where should a man go if he really wants to drink? Finally, Samuel L Jackson speaking like Donald Duck and a mental QPR fan - we've got all the best of this week's web funnies!

Christina Aguilera has been forced to accept private gigs at weddings and Bar Mitzvahs following the cancellation of her US tour and poor sales of her album 'Bionic', according to reports.

'Bionic' was critically panned and flopped in the UK where it became the lowest-selling number one album for eight years and soon dropped out of the charts.

Speaking to Now magazine, a source said: "Christina's performing at Bar Mitzvahs and weddings. She wanted to charge £1.3 million a time but her hubby Jordan Bratman convinced her to lower it to £157,000 so she'll get more gigs."