CAPTAIN OOSA IS INSANE

So, within my first week of college, my roommate had already locked me out (four times), thrown away all my food (it was ruining her "vibe") and smeared some sticky, black paste all over my bed ("for the spirits").

Then, a couple of days ago, I walked in on her hanging a tiny voodoo doll with my face on a little noose made of dental floss in the bathroom. Yeah. I was a little scared. So, I was the theatre star in high school and my friend works in special effects. We set up a little scare for her.

Needless to say, my roomie gave up the whole creeper thing when she saw me laying in the bathroom, "dead" and covered in "blood." Maybe I went a little too far, leaving a rope noose on her bed. When she came back an hour later, I pretended like she had imagined the entire thing. Now she is the best roomie ever! Love ya Katie!

Christina Aguilera has been forced to accept private gigs at weddings and Bar Mitzvahs following the cancellation of her US tour and poor sales of her album 'Bionic', according to reports.

'Bionic' was critically panned and flopped in the UK where it became the lowest-selling number one album for eight years and soon dropped out of the charts.

Speaking to Now magazine, a source said: "Christina's performing at Bar Mitzvahs and weddings. She wanted to charge £1.3 million a time but her hubby Jordan Bratman convinced her to lower it to £157,000 so she'll get more gigs."