Come and read the toponymy of the most charming road name in the world! When I say charming I mean hilariously offensive. It seems it was quite ubiquitous back in the Middle Ages, in England any way. They certainly knew how to name a road back then, none of this quaint rubbish like Baron Chedworth Court or Rose Petal Lane.

They didn't care who they offended, or maybe back then the art of subtlety was perhaps to subtle for them to take notice of, so they just named roads with whatever activity the place was famous for. Prostitution in this case.

If we named roads like that now we'd have names like Crack Pipe Alley, Dog Sh#t Lane or Urine Close. But we don't, and sadly there are no roads left with this excellent name. They've all been sanitised to Grape Lane or other non-vulgarities. Maybe the local councils could hire a Tourette's sufferer to get them back up to the Middle Ages' exacting standards.

This guy has it bad. If he kept his habits private, well. But I guess whatever floats your boat. Instead, he gets a kick from doing...this. In public. What starts as an innocent youthful experiment in his room quickly spirals into a dark, sick world of outdoor loving with a vacuum-cleaner.

Nowhere is safe. No vacuum-cleaner model can hide from his perversions. He does it all over the place, around the back of garages, inside public phone boxes, even by the roadside in full view of the passing traffic. Sweet Mary Mother of God!

Oh well. As long as he always uses a clean bag and doesn't switch the thing from 'suck' to 'blow'. But really come on, get a room...ba!