If You Remember When ?

Take a minute away from your work, turn off your phone and indulge yourself. Think of your kids and hope they have the same warms feelings one day about the really small things in life. Go back i...
168 points

Why are we at war?

A WARMONGER EXPLAINS WAR TO A PEACENIK By Anonymous PeaceNik: Why did you say we are we invading Iraq? WarMonger: We are invading Iraq because it is in violation of security council resolution 14...
155 points

First year MedSchool

First year MedSchool First-year students at MedSchool were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a...
162 points

Dear Employees:

Subject: Swearing at Work - Alternative phrases Dear Employees: It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during th...
152 points

Darth Vader vs Luke Skywalker

Darth Vader vs Luke Skywalker A furious light sabre duel is under way. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER toward the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes s...
174 points

How to keep a woman happy....

It's not difficult. To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumb...
158 points

How To Be A Successful Evil Overlord

Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in m...
205 points

Fishing Funeral

Two older men are fishing in a boat on a lake thats beside the highway and a funeral precession drives by. As this happens one of the men stands up and takes his hat off. The man that is still si...
166 points

College Kids

A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfri...
164 points

Arabic TV Guide

Arabic TV Guide SUNDAY: 8:00 - My 33 Sons 8:30 - Osama Knows Best 9:00 - I Dream of Mohammed 9:30 - Let's Mecca Deal 10:00 - The Kabul Hillbillies MONDAY: 8:00 - Husseinfeld 9:00 - Mad About ...
156 points

Bread Is DANGEROUS !!!

Research on bread indicates that: 1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. 2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on stan...
180 points

Magic Apples

A young fellow ran into an old man who was carrying a bag. "What's in the bag?" the youngster asked. "magic apples", the old man replied. "Prove it", said the young man. "Well, besides apples, ...
154 points

Only In Australia

Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge one day when he sees his girlfriend, Sheila about to throw herself off. Bruce slams on the brakes and yells "Sheila, what the hell d'ya think you're...
159 points

Kids

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas. "Things I've learned from my children" (honest & no kidding): 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. h...
153 points

That Son Of A B#tch!

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned." Priest: "What have you done my child?" Girl: "I called a man a son of a b#tch." Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a b#tch?" Girl: "Because he t...
200 points

Military Time

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom appro...
156 points

Men vs. Women Shower Habits

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the wa...
182 points

Voodoo Penis

A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex drive, so he thought he'd buy her a little something to keep her...
159 points

Castaways

A plane crashes in the middle of the ocean and the four survivors, three men and a woman, wash up on a deserted island. They set up camp and wait. Weeks go by. They're all getting pretty horn...
160 points

Gynecologists Never Change

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change ca...
156 points

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