Extract from the Australian Etiquette Handbook

Extract from the Australian Etiquette Handbook 1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting them. 3. It's tacky to take an esky to church. 4. If...
51 points

Stupid Blonde Joke !

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and Help me !" 'I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started.' He asks, "What is it supposed to be whe...
54 points

Hillbilly Farmer

A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer. The lawyer said, 'How can I help you?' The farmer said, 'I want to get one of them dayvorces.' The lawyer said, 'Do you hav...
56 points

Only In Australia

Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge one day when he sees his girlfriend, Sheila about to throw herself off. Bruce slams on the brakes and yells "Sheila, what the hell d'ya think you're...
54 points

The Thoughts Of George Carlin

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 4. If man evolved from monkeys and a...
50 points

10 Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women

#10 - You can trade in an old 44 for a new 22... #9 - You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you are on the road... #8 - If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will prob...
48 points

Words from the wise?

A Man's breakdown on a relationship....... When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passio...
51 points

If Corporate Taglines Were Honest

iPod: It’ll break in a year, but by then you’ll want the new one. Apple: You think you need it, we know you just want it. Samsung: Didn’t you mean to buy Sony? Ikea: One day you’ll be...
68 points

You know you're living in 2005 when...

You know you're living in 2005 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers ...
65 points

Every Man Has A Sensitive Side

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroo...
66 points

Once upon a time.

Once upon a time. Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, storm...
55 points

I Have Some Bad News

A guy goes to his doctor because he’s been having problems remembering things. After a battery of tests the doctor says, "Unfortunately, I have bad news, and I have very bad news." "What’s the...
62 points

Office Dares

Office Dares Thing to keep you occupied at the office while you avoid work ! ONE-POINT DARES 1. Run one lap around the office at top speed 2. Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least...
72 points

Things You Can Only Say At Xmas

For those who celebrate it, here are a list of things you can only say at Christmas: 1: I prefer breasts to legs. 2: Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3: Smother the butter all over ...
58 points

First year MedSchool

First year MedSchool First-year students at MedSchool were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a...
62 points

Pervy Parrot

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little," she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked a...
51 points

Corporate lessons

Corporate lesson 1 ----------------------------------------- A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing ...
60 points

That Son Of A B#tch!

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned." Priest: "What have you done my child?" Girl: "I called a man a son of a b#tch." Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a b#tch?" Girl: "Because he t...
90 points

Fishing Funeral

Two older men are fishing in a boat on a lake thats beside the highway and a funeral precession drives by. As this happens one of the men stands up and takes his hat off. The man that is still si...
67 points

Castaways

A plane crashes in the middle of the ocean and the four survivors, three men and a woman, wash up on a deserted island. They set up camp and wait. Weeks go by. They're all getting pretty horn...
60 points

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