Walking The Dog

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat." "What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your father. I think he'...
108 points

The Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honour of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in t...
105 points

Credit Crunch Hits Japan

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on HBOS in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 hours Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone bell...
129 points

The Thoughts Of George Carlin

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 4. If man evolved from monkeys and a...
99 points

10 Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women

#10 - You can trade in an old 44 for a new 22... #9 - You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you are on the road... #8 - If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will prob...
91 points

If You Remember When ?

Take a minute away from your work, turn off your phone and indulge yourself. Think of your kids and hope they have the same warms feelings one day about the really small things in life. Go back i...
115 points

Drive Through Banking - A His And Hers Guide

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this ...
97 points

You know you're living in 2005 when...

You know you're living in 2005 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers ...
115 points

Beckhamisms

POSH and Becks are sitting in front of the television watching the six o'clock news. The main story is a man threatening to jump off the Clifton Suspension Bridge on to the busy road below. Posh ...
121 points

The Bug

Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to...
107 points

A man walks into a bar

Subject: A man walks into a bar A man walked into a quiet bar He carried three ducks, one in each hand and one under his left arm. He placed them one beside the other upon the bar. He had a f...
110 points

Irish Christening

Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically,...
114 points

Computer Slang

Computer Slang Understand how to communicate online and help stop the WTF syndrome !!! While it has many nicknames, information-age slang is commonly referred to as leetspeek, or leet for short. ...
142 points

First year MedSchool

First year MedSchool First-year students at MedSchool were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a...
114 points

Which Holidays Are Best For Relationships?

This question has posed itself for me on many occasions. It just so happens that this last Valentine’s Day, and the lack of a relationship on my part, has afforded me the boredom, but most import...
116 points

Dear People Of The United Kingdom

Dear people of the United Kingdom Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and...
112 points

Life's Mysteries In "Human Terms"

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance. Smart man + dumb woman = affair. Dumb man + smart woman = marriage. OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Dumb boss + smart ...
120 points

One Hell Of A Photographer

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well...
113 points

It's Gonna Start !

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts. "She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. ...
101 points

Air Traffic Lulz

"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees." "Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?" Fro...
111 points

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