Drunken

A local bar regular had been drinking all night. This particular night the regular drank a little more than usual. The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the regular stands up to l...
288 points

How to keep a woman happy....

It's not difficult. To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumb...
270 points

Letter from the Inland Revenue :(

Dear Mr Addison, I am writing to you to express our thanks for your more than prompt reply to our latest communication, and also to answer some of the points you raise. I will address them, as ev...
273 points

Politics for hillbillies

Politics for hillbillies :- Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour. Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk. Facism: You have 2 cows;...
256 points

Dear People Of The United Kingdom

Dear people of the United Kingdom Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and...
272 points

Darth Vader vs Luke Skywalker

Darth Vader vs Luke Skywalker A furious light sabre duel is under way. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER toward the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes s...
293 points

Computer Slang

Computer Slang Understand how to communicate online and help stop the WTF syndrome !!! While it has many nicknames, information-age slang is commonly referred to as leetspeek, or leet for short. ...
294 points

The charm of the London Underground

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cro...
260 points

Pervy Parrot

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little," she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked a...
254 points

A Gentlemans Guide To Suicide

Introduction Let's face it, thousands of people kill themselves everyday. Many are guilt ridden, trapped in an unloving relationship, or have become overwhelmed by the futility of life. While we f...
269 points

The Thoughts Of George Carlin

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 4. If man evolved from monkeys and a...
254 points

The Blonde Joke To End All Blonde Jokes

There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote t...
301 points

Young Man

A young man moved into a new apartment on his own, and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes weari...
267 points

Drive-Through Cash Machines

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using these...
253 points

First year MedSchool

First year MedSchool First-year students at MedSchool were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a...
261 points

Old Boy Farting

There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years. Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance. "You'll far...
262 points

Which Holidays Are Best For Relationships?

This question has posed itself for me on many occasions. It just so happens that this last Valentine’s Day, and the lack of a relationship on my part, has afforded me the boredom, but most import...
312 points

How to get an MA (Male Attitude)

Isn't it great being a bloke (for those that know!)..... Your arse is never a factor in a job interview. Your orgasms are real. Always. Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours...
269 points

Words from the wise?

A Man's breakdown on a relationship....... When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passio...
256 points

Aussie Aussie Aussie...

Aussie Aussie Aussie... We are the people of a free nation of blokes, sheilas and the occasional wanker. We come from many lands (although a few too many of us come from New Zealand), and altho...
287 points

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