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The Battle Of Trafalgar (Two Hundred Years On)

Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy." Hardy: "Aye Aye, sir." Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to the Signals Officer. What's the meaning of this?" Hardy: "Sorry sir?" Nelson (reading a...
84 points

Conspiracy theory

Conspiracy theory - Lincoln vs Kennedy Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. K...
117 points

An Ode to the Bustle (I Like Big Butts)

The courtiers like big bustles and they cannot lie. No gentleman doth deny. When a fair maiden strolls in with a diminutive waist And a bustle in your face... You approach a mutual acquaintance who...
100 points

Be careful when you're typing...

A Scotish couple decided to go to Lanzarote to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years before. Because of their h...
116 points

Top 10 Times In History When the F-word Was Appropriate

1. "Scattered f#cking showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC 2. "How the f#ck did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC 3. "You want WHAT on the f#cking ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566 4. "Where di...
106 points

Ducks

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: "Don't Step on the Ducks." So they enter heaven, and sure enoug...
89 points

Bad-ass Breakfast

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. “You know what?” says the 6 year old. “I think it’s about time we started cussing.” The 4 year old nods his head in approv...
120 points

Memorandum

MEMORANDUM From: Bin Laden, Osama To: Team Mates Subject: The Cave Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks...
137 points

James Bond

I went to a Roger Moore James Bond party last night, and for a laugh I went as Sean Connery. It certainly raised a few eyebrows.
200 points

Home Truths

10 Truths Black And Hispanic People Know, But White People Won't Admit: 1. Elvis is dead. 2. Jesus was not White. 3. Rap music is here to stay 4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean. 5. Skinny d...
165 points

Top Facts About Mr. T

Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool. Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them. Ever have a sharp pain in your chest that you can't explain? T...
155 points

WARNING !!!!

WARNING : There is a new virus going around called 'work'. If you receive any sort of 'work' at all, whether via E-mail, Internet, or simply handed to you by a colleague .......DO NOT OPEN IT. Wo...
159 points

Old Man

A 95 year old man is given a jar to provide a sperm specimen for analysis at hospital. He turns up 2 days later with an empty jar. The nurse asks, "Why?" He replies, "Sorry, but I tried with my r...
230 points

Guide to Taking a Dump at Work

The Guide to Taking a Dump at Work Everything you've always wanted to know...but where afraid to ask! Escapee -- A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall...
213 points

For All The Halo Fans Out There

Marine 1: Did you hear the announcement? We're being reassigned. Marine 2: What? That's great news! Maybe now we'll finally see some action! Marine 1: We're being reassigned... to Master Chief's ...
210 points

I'll Have A Fosters !

An Australian guy is travelling around the Greek Islands. He walks into a bar and, by chance, is served by an Australian Barmaid. As she takes his order, a Foster's, she notices his accent. Over ...
161 points

To Be Republican, You Need To Believe...

1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton. 2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's Daddy made war on him , a good guy when Cheney...
162 points

I'd Love To Be Eight Again !

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be eight again." she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then t...
125 points

Answering Machines

Answering Machines You really get bored with answering machines ... but what if the messages are like the following 1)Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, be...
93 points

Shocking News From The Euro 2004 Tournament

----- Original Message ----- From: "Sven Goran Eriksson" To: "Pammy // kontraband" Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2004 5:41 PM Subject: Fw: Brilliant It's alleged that one of the French football pl...
81 points

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