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Brown Hands

Why did the baker have brown hands? Because he kneaded a poo.
94 points

How Much For That Baseball?

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also co...
78 points

Politics Explained

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take ca...
76 points

Dear Agony Aunt

I would be most grateful for any advice anyone could give on this matter of deep concern to me. For sometime now I've suspected that my wife may be having an affair. You know the sort of thing. Th...
72 points

Tour de France

Q. What do you call a pointless race that covers around 2,200 miles throughout France? A. The French.
66 points

Heaven or Hell

Heaven or Hell One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You are ...
54 points

One Last Wish

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker and because of the grief they have experienced; he decides to grant them...
65 points

David Beckham Goes Horse Riding

David Beckham Goes Horse Riding David Beckham decides to try horseback riding, even though he has had no lessons or prior experience. He mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately spr...
87 points

I Will Survive

SING IT GIRLS! At first I was afraid, I was petrified! When you said you had 10 inches, lord I almost died. But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, that I grew strong... and ...
83 points

Doctors And Nurses

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter. Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh o...
74 points

Training Courses For Women

Women think they already know everything, but wait...training courses are now available for women on the following subjects: 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before 2. The ...
64 points

10 Laws of Computing

10 Laws of Computing 1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete....
64 points

Dear Diary

HER DIARY Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a ...
54 points

Willy - Or Won't He ?

Dear Management, I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labor. I work at great depths I plunge headfirst into everything I do. I do not get wee...
58 points

Before And After Marriage

BEFORE MARRIAGE: Husband: Aaah!...At last! I can hardly wait! Wife: Do you want me to leave? Husband: No! Don't even think about it. Wife: Do you love me? Husband : Of course! Always have ...
63 points

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes English - Chinese (Read them outloud): Are you harboring a fugitive - Hu Yu Hai Ding See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni Your price is too high...
62 points

Divine Golf

Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses r...
58 points

Stevie Wonder's Tokyo Gig

Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo and the place is packed to the rafters. In his bid to break the ice with the audience he asks if anyone would like him to play a request. A little o...
70 points

Hospital Know It All

At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, "I...
47 points

You Know You Are Living In 2007 When....

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2.You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone number...
54 points

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