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Blind Golf

Blind Golf Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Woods turns to Wonder and says, " How's the singing career going?" Stevie Wonder replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?" Woods replies, " ...
39 points

Are Computers Male Or Female?

A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she ...
62 points

A wise man

Theres a man who has 3 girl-friends,but he does not know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one £5000 and see how each of them spends it. The first one goes out and gets a total makeo...
65 points

Sperm Count

Sperm Count An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day...
55 points

Words and their meanings..

The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of this year's winning entries: 1. Coffee (n.), ...
55 points

Silly Indians Didn't Know Animals Could Talk...

Cowboy: 'That your dog?' Indian: 'Yep.' Cowboy: 'Mind if I speak to him?' Indian: 'Dog no talk.' Cowboy: 'Hey dog, how's it going?' Dog: 'Doin' all right.' Indian: (Look of shock!) Cowboy: '...
53 points

Kitkat Chunky

A man goes to a 24hr garage late at nite and says to the girl at the window 'can i have a kitkat chunky' the girl walks off and returns with a kitkat chunky. 'No' says the man, 'i wanted a normal k...
65 points

A Cool Little Cure For Ants

Here is the guaranteed cure for ants. Get a pound of black powder, or pyrodex, and pour some out around each ant hill and walk away... Come back in a couple of days, it will be gone, pour some mor...
61 points

Computer Hell

Computer Hell Andy Mikula living in Dickson City near Scranton, Pennsylvania, received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away. In Apr...
74 points

Syndrome

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff legged and walking slowly. One of the students said to his friend: "I'm...
98 points

Labour Pains

Labour Pains A couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said there had been invented a new machine that would transfer-by kinetic energy a portion ...
98 points

Mental Health Hospital answering machine:

Mental Health Hospital answering machine: Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline ... If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to ...
86 points

Little Johnny

Little Johnny is walking past his parents bedroom, when he hears strange noises coming from inside. He opens the door, and to his shock, there's his dad screwing his mum. Johnny let's out a hug...
74 points

Kontraband's Rules of Order

KONTRABAND’S RULES OF ORDER 1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound th...
79 points

Therapy

Just in case you've had a rough day, here's a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is that it really works. 1. Picture yourself near a ...
74 points

Women - Men Translated

Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads: 40-ish = 49 Adventurous = Slept with everyone Athletic = No tits Average looking = Ugly Beautiful = Pathological liar Contagious Smile = Does a lot of pills Em...
67 points

Being A Good Samaritan

A man is having a few drinks at a bar when he looks over and notices a drunk guy passed out at a table nearby. The bartender tells him the drunk is Mr. Murphy and asks the man if he could drive Mr....
82 points

Vets See What The Problem Is Here ?

A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest. After a moment or two, th...
71 points

Two Mexicans Are Stuck In The Desert...

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when suddenly... "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smel...
76 points

Who's Your Daddy ?

Who's Your Daddy? The following are all replies that British women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. These are genuine excerpts from the forms: 0...
91 points

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