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Anybody but Bush :-)

A plea from a senior citizen I am a senior citizen. During the Clinton Administration I had an extremely good and well paying job. I took numerous vacations and had several vacation homes. Si...
85 points

The Polite Way To Pee

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would ...
72 points

Taxi Driver

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped ...
47 points

Pub Culture...

A South African, an Aussie and a Londoner were sitting in a pub having a pint of beer. The South African grabs his beer downs it, tosses his glass into the air, draws a handgun and shoots the gla...
44 points

Women

Women A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the w...
46 points

Job Interview

Job Interview An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decid...
44 points

I Didn't...

There were two guys taking a shower. They were playing with each other and kissing. Then somebody knocked on the door so one of the guys was like, "I'm going to answer the door so don't finish with...
79 points

Speeding

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one...
88 points

What Goes Around...

In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air...
80 points

Elderly Man

An elderly man goes to the doctor's to get his regular check up. The doctor says to the man "Well I have bad news and I have worse news. Which do you want to hear first?" "Well," says the elderly...
71 points

Late Night Stranger

A man and his wife are awakened at three o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is askin...
98 points

In the Beginning

The Creation In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy matches, going to the beach and barbies. He created night for going prawning, sleeping and barbies. God saw that ...
77 points

Mad Cows

There was this news woman in New Zealand that was interviewing a rancher about madcow disease...so she says...Sir what can you tell me about this terrible epidimic of "madcow disease" the racher sa...
82 points

Holy Tax Inspection

At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said: "I notice you buy a lot of candles...
85 points

Brown Hands

Why did the baker have brown hands? Because he kneaded a poo.
101 points

How Much For That Baseball?

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also co...
87 points

Politics Explained

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take ca...
83 points

Dear Agony Aunt

I would be most grateful for any advice anyone could give on this matter of deep concern to me. For sometime now I've suspected that my wife may be having an affair. You know the sort of thing. Th...
79 points

Tour de France

Q. What do you call a pointless race that covers around 2,200 miles throughout France? A. The French.
75 points

Heaven or Hell

Heaven or Hell One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You are ...
61 points

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