Jokes Pics



Ultimate Blonde Joke

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna h...
68 points

I Dream Of Osama

While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle on the sand & picked it up. Suddenly, a blond headed female Genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said, "Master, m...
66 points

The Pastor's Ass

The Pastor's Ass The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTO...
64 points

Corporate Decision Making

DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead. CINEMA goers: P...
65 points

Flare surfing

Preview 279567ff e404 4237 a99c feb08ba33ea7

'If The Enemy Is In Range - So Are You !'

Warnings issued by the U.S. military to their own troops: "Aim towards the enemy." Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher. "When the pin is pulled, Mr Grenade is not our friend." US Marine ...
93 points

Pranking future homeowners. lol

Preview bcfaafee f004 4012 8b54 919304372d44


Preview 4397d530 57c5 4b91 8558 d9ff2c5ca197

Australian Defination of A True Friend

Are you tired of all those namby, pamby, girly, sissy, completely wet "friendship" poems, that never come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship...
146 points

Italian Lovers

A virile, middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he le...
93 points

Supposedly A True, Long (but good) Story

Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the ...
89 points

For All you Lexophiles Out there

FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS): 1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. 2. A will is a dead giveaway. 3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. 4 A backward poe...
69 points


A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After...
84 points

Romantic Valentines Verses

Romantic Valentines Verses If you get stuck - try some of these: These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic ...
77 points

Things Difficult To Say When You're Drunk Part 2

a) Innovative b) Preliminary c) Proliferation d) Cinnamon Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk... a) Specificity b) British Constitution c) Passive-aggressive disorder d) Trans...
85 points

Tarzan And Jane

After living in the jungle for a while Jane wanted to do the nasty with Tarzan and asked if he knew what sex was. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, Tarza...
96 points

Scary New Virus Warning !

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called Weary-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleague...
82 points

M'mmmmmmm Beer !

Don't get me started... A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts." She looked a little puzzled,...
91 points

Top 10 Best Out-Of-Office Email Replies

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood. 2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the off...
75 points

How To Pick Up Chicks

Taken from our friends at Due to my recent reintroduction to bachelorhood and a four month absence of a social life, I have started looking towards Hollywood for new ways of meeting ...
89 points

Sign in to continue

Stay tuned with Kontraband

What's happening now:


Get the Kontraband App:

Follow us on Facebook: