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How to change your oil if.....

Oil Changing Instructions for Women: 1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3,000 since the last oil change. 2. Drink a cup of coffee. 3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with ...
86 points

Sandals

Sandals A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace, looking at the wide assortment of goods, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they he...
63 points

Welcome aboard

“GOOD morning, ladies and gentlemen. We are delighted to welcome you aboard Veritas Airways, the airline that tells it like it is. Please ensure that your seat belt is fastened, your seat back is...
43 points

Jack Does The right Thing!

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got...
39 points

Best Singles Ad Ever Written

Best Singles Ad Ever Written This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in The Atlanta Journal. SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, et...
59 points

FAO George Bush

FAO George Bush President of the United States Supreme Commander of the US Military The White House Washington DC cc Tony Blair, Downing Street, London, UK Dear George, We notice you have been h...
70 points

Dear Bruce

Extracts from "Dear Bruce", an Australian 'Agony Aunt' column in a popular men's magazine. Q. Dear Bruce I have some lucky condoms that I keep in my wallet. I am beginning to wonder if they really...
63 points

Similarities

MAKING COFFEE Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir.. gently, and firmly. You've got to grind your b...
63 points

Unfaithfully Yours

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making Love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do thi...
83 points

Wild Alabama Party

Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alabama to be as far away from humanity as possible. Sam sees th...
68 points

Kids Do The Darnest Things

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship. Little Sally led off: "I so...
82 points

Anniversary

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked bod...
79 points

Gloves And Panties

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration he decided a pair of gloves would strike just the rig...
70 points

Sinful Century

These three guys die in a car wreck and they all go to Hell. When they arrive the Devil asks each of the men what their sin was. The first guy says, "It's gotta be the booze. I'm always drunk." Th...
78 points

A Load Of Old Bulls

Mac and Billy visit Spain on holiday. Are having a great time and decide to go to the bullfight to take in some of the local entertainment. See a great exhibition of skill and mastery by the matado...
71 points

Mother Nature's Revenge

A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a...
81 points

A Week In Hell

A man dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon... Demon: Why so glum, chum? Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell. Demon: Hell's not ...
62 points

Carnal Sins

A young couple wanted to join the church, the pastor told them, 'We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month.' The couple agreed, but after t...
73 points

Barbie Don't Come Cheap !

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, "How much for one of those Bar...
73 points

Leroy Is NOT Happy

A rich white man threw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors, including Leroy, the only black guy in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansi...
61 points

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