Top Facts About Mr. T

165 points

Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.

Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.

Ever have a sharp pain in your chest that you can't explain? That was Mr. T, and it was a warning.

Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.

All that glitters is not gold: If it's not being worn by Mr. T, then it's just jibba jabba, and Mr. T pities the fool who can't tell the difference. This is where the phrase "fool's gold" comes from.

Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.

23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.

There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.

Mr. T does not know you personally, but the odds are 7 in 10 that he pities you.

Mr. T pities the fool who doesn't pity the fool, thus creating a neverending loop of pity and pain.

Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and created Scotland.

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