How to get an MA (Male Attitude)
Isn't it great being a bloke (for those that know!).....
Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.
Your orgasms are real. Always.
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut.
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
Wrinkles add character.
A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you
You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything
You can appreciate great sport.
You can throw a ball more than 5 feet.
One mood, ALL the damn time.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.
You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still
be your friend.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to clean your flat if the electricity meter reader is
You can sit in silence watching a football game with your mate for
hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just
might become lifelong friends.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December
24th, in 45 minutes.
Same job .... . more pay.
The world is your urinal.