Great Quotes On Suburbia -- Part 1

106 points

Wack, Fun, Pointed -- Even Serious -- Quotes That Folks In The Burbs Will 'Appreciate'...Life, Features, Frustrations, Amusements.

On The Inner Workings of The House...

"In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, 'cut it out.'"
--Stephen Wright [Comic, Writer]

On The Many Uses Of The Yard...

"I don't use the toilet much to pee in. I almost always pee in the yard or the garden."
--Iggy Pop [Musician, Philosopher-Naturalist]

On The Frustrations Of Leaking Pipes...

"Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends."
--Woody Allen [Comic, Filmmaker]

On House Cleaning, Men & Women...

"Housework is the only activity at which men are allowed to be consistently inept because they are thought to be so competent at everything else."
--Letty Cottin Pogrebin [Writer, Feminist]

On All The Burbs Offers...

"I'm not interested in the suburbs. The suburbs bore me."
--Barack Obama [U.S. Presidential Candidate]

On A Reason To Not Sweat Lawn Care...

"What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson [Essayist]

On Town Life...

"I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do."
--Lenny Bruce [Comic, Activist]

On Unexpected Career Choices...

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd be a plumber."
--Albert Einstein [Physicist]

Sign in to continue

Stay tuned with Kontraband

What's happening now:


Get the Kontraband App:

Follow us on Facebook: