Aw Sh#t!!

96 points

Ghost Sh#t
That's the kind where you feel the sh#t come out, have sh#t on the toilet paper, but there is no sh#t in the toilet.

Clean Sh#t
The kind where you sh#t it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Second Wave Sh#t
It happens when you're done sh#tting, you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realise that you have to sh#t some more.

Brain Hemorrage Sh#t
Also known as "Pop a vein in your forehead " sh#t. the kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.

Sweetcorn Sh#t
Self Explanatory

Log Sh#t
The kind of sh#t that is so huge that you're afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush

Drinkers sh#t
That is the kind of sh#t that you have the morning after a long night of drinking - it's most noticeable trait is the skid marks left on the bottom of the toilet .

"Gee I wish I could sh#t" Sh#t
Its the kind of sh#t where you want to sh#t, but all you do is sit on the toilet with cramps and fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Sh#t
That's the one where it hurts so much coming out that you swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks Sh#t Also known as "The Power Dump"
That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

Liquid Sh#t
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the inside of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.

Mexican Food Sh#t
A class all its own

The Crowd Pleaser
This sh#t is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone.

Mood Enhancer
This sh#t occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, allowing you to be your old self again.

The Ritual
This sh#t occurs at the same time time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.

Guiness Book of Records Sh#t
A sh#t so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.

The Aftershock Sh#t
This sh#t has an odor so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is effected.

The Honeymoons Over Sh#t
This is any sh#t created in the presence of another person.

A sh#t so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.

Characterized by its floatability, this sh#t has been known to resurface after many flushes.

A sh#t which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.

Phantom Sh#t
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit putting it there.

Now you see it, now you don't. This sh#t is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control.

The Bombshell
A sh#t that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to sh#t (i.e. during love making or a root canal) or you are nowhere near sh#tting facilities.

Snake Charmer
A long skinny sh#t which has managed to coil into a frightening position - usually harmless Olympic Sh#t. This sh#t occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinkers sh#t.

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