Russia Loves Sarah Palin

12 points

(Provideniya, Russia) Governor Sarah Palin, the Republican Vice Presidential nominee, has said that she can see Russia from her house. Across the Bering Strait in Provideniya Bay sits the town of Provideniya, Russia and its mayor Dimitri Andropov. He says that he can see Palin showering from HIS house. "And it is very nice."

Mayor Andropov added that his small town, like America, is transfixed with the buxom Governor. "We have a shower watchman on duty 24/7. And when the delightful Palin turns on the water and lets down her hair, the alarm sounds, telling everyone to rush to my house for a show. The kids love it."

Leonid Andropov, the Mayor's brother, said that the ability to see Palin shower has given him and the other men a newfound respect for her. "She's a very thorough cleaner, which is tough when one is dealing with moose guts, wolf blood and oil.And she doesn't have a mustache, which is just a big plus for us."

In a spontaneous Q&A at a Phoenix donut shop, Sarah Palin said that she's okay with the Russians watching her shower. "I'm flattered. And hopefully my cleanliness can inspire them to go after freedom, liberty and democracy...so that they can create jobs, get more freedom and liberty to help the economic job search, then hunt down the terror loving terrorists and change their nation of human people for the better."

"All I heard from that speech was change, and change to us is bad," said Mayor Andropov. "Change means John McCain will win the election and take our water princess to shower in Washington D.C.We don't want that to happen.Everything else Governor Palin said was over our small town heads. But that's okay, because we like to watch Sarah the same way she likes to watch Saturday Night Live, with the sound turned down."

In other news, Bill Clinton announced his candidacy for Mayor of Provideniya.

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