20 Great Quotes About Sex
20. "During sex I fantasize that I'm someone else."
19. "Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them."
18. "I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible."
17. "Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs."
16. "It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
15. "If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no sex life at all."
14. "Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy."
13. "Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night."
12. "It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on."
11. "My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty."
10. "It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it."
9. "When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities."
8. "The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less."
7. "There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid."
6. "An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex."
5. "I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own."
4. "We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
3. "Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them."
2. "My girlfriend said to me in bed last night 'You're a pervert' I said, 'That's a big word for a girl of nine'."
1. "If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humour was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of sex."