Why did the chicken cross the road ?

168 points

Teacher:
To get to the other side.

Plato:
For the greater good.

Aristotle:
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

Karl Marx:
It was a historical inevitability.

Timothy Leary:
Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

Saddam Hussein:
It was an unprovoked, rebellious act and we were justified in dropping 50t of nerve gas on it.

Jack Nicholson:
'Cause it fuckin wanted to...that's the fuckin reason.

Ronald Reagan:
I forget.

Captain Kirk:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Hippocrates:
Because of an excess of phelgm in its pancreas.

Louis Farrakhan:
The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

Bill Clinton:
I did not have an improper relationship with that chicken.

Richard Nixon:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

Machiavelli:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

Jerry Seinfeld:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

Oliver Stone:
The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it's "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

Charles Darwin:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

Buddha:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

Ralph Emerson:
The chicken did not cross the road, it transcended it.

Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.

Saeed Al Saraf (Iraqi Info minister):
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.

George W. Bush:
We don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground.

Tony Blair:
I agree with George!

Hans Blix:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.

Grandad:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

John Lennon:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

Albert Einstein:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Moses:
And God came down from the heavens, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was rejoicing.

Homer Simpson:
Mmm...chicken.

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